Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 1-22-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with a little talk about last night’s premier of American Idol on Fox. They suspected many of the more horrible singers realized they sucked before participating in the show and were only looking for their 15 minutes of fame, a thought TnT both shared with us yesterday as well. The guys did seem to like, though, Simon’s asshole attitude towards the really bad contestants. From there, the guys spent a moment re-explaining the difference between being able to sing and being able to carry a tune. After their awesome performance late in yesterday’s show of ‘’Baby, Baby Don’t Get Hooked On Me’’ where they carried a tune quite well yet sucked at singing, they tied this all in with their talk of the American Idol TV show. TnT also discussed the news story of the woman and baby who were struck by an RV and were amazed that the police have been able to not only pinpoint the time in which the accident occurred, but that they were able to figure out it was an RV pulling a red car behind it that might be the culprit.

TnT then read over a couple of e-mails. One was about some strange paddling at Creighton Prep that, when the story breaks, will ‘’rock Omaha’’. Another e-mail came in giving them hints on a scenic route to West Point so they don’t have to endure another boring drive to a dodge ball game like last week’s Schuyler trip. The last e-mail of the early morning segment came from Barry Collier’s kid who offered to talk with them any time about what it’s like being the son of an NCAA basketball coach. From the tone of his e-mail, the guy seems a tad bitter.

BW came in with the news a little later in the show. One story he reported was about a Thayer County judge named Coady that got in trouble for a racial comment. He said something to the effect of, ‘’Chocolate people belong together.’’ BW played the racist for a bit while TnT argued the reasons such a comment is wrong. BW then made a claim that he heard Deb Ward on Channel 3 make a somewhat similar comment on one of last night’s newscasts. BW said that during a story about Jerry Rice and his cousins, Deb dropped the ‘’Aren’t they all just cousins?’’ bomb, alluding to all black people being related. The comment was confirmed by caller Child Prodigy so TnT discussed BW’s claim for a moment. They later found out from Travis that there was no credibility to Brian’s claim of what he heard.

Also early in the news, and in the same vein as their earlier race-related subjects, BW made the claim that the reason coach Dana Altman didn’t take the gig in Miami is because he wouldn’t be used to coaching so many black players. TnT jumped all over Brian again for his ridiculous comment and after going round and round on the subject for a while, they moved on just before my brain hit meltdown mode.

As the news continued, BW reported that NASA is thinking of hiring some more teachers for the space program. In one of the funniest things I’ve heard since yesterday’s TnT show, Todd said ‘’Yea, because it worked out so well for them last time.’’ As harsh as that might have been, I laughed so hard that I think I tore my uvula. BW then wrapped up today’s newscast with a story about a mentally handicapped child who bit the finger off of a school nurse when she put her fingers in his mouth to put a pill on his tongue. Is anybody else picturing a new Mattel game ‘’Hungry, Hungry Corky’’? Brian then left the show today to go plow snow while Jeremy phoned Trisha Meuret of Channel 7 to come fill in during the e-news.

Todd and Tyler were joined by Dr. Ed live from his basement in Tyler, TX. The gang started off by asking the doc if he had ever heard of ‘’bug chasers’’. The subject was brought up by Tyler who read a ‘’Rolling Stones’’ article about a group of gay men who are seeking lovers with the HIV virus in order to contract the disease so they don’t have to worry about getting it later. There was even a web site associated with the group, backdoorcity.com?? Dr. Ed, as you might imagine, denounced such activities and pointed out that even though the current HIV cocktail of drugs being used isn’t going to stop people with HIV/AIDS from dying.

TnT then opened up the phone lines to their listeners and Dr. Ed answered a plethora of medical questions for the remainder of his visit. The gang talked about Canadian prescriptions and their Socialistic healthcare system, gum bezoars, the Skittles effect on the color of one’s crap, and men whose loads burn their women. The last mentioned topic prompted the doc to spout out, ‘’Chunky Sperm Barbie’’. It was hilarious. Dr. Ed then diagnosed a man with fuzzy feet and no leg hair as having Hobbitism, the guys talked of pie shingles and dry pie syndrome, and they had a lengthy discussion about the differences in human eyes and those of animals. A Vet checked in on the last subject and helped the Dr. to enlighten us all. This morning was another great visit from Dr. Ed. If you missed him today, he’ll be returning to the Todd and Tyler show in about two weeks so start saving up your medical questions now.

Travis came in with the sports report a little later in the show. He touched on BW’s earlier comments about coach Dana Altman, saying Brian’s ideas were ridiculous. He also swashed what Brian said Deb Ward said on last night’s newscast. Basically, today’s sports report consisted mostly of Travis telling us all how nuts BW is, stating he talks with his finger like the little psycho kid in ‘’The Shining’’, and BW must be listening to the little green Gazoo floating around his head. It was an awesome sports segment.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in today and delivered a commentary on how idiotic it is for Iraq to offer to use their own inspectors to help the UN inspectors find weapons in the country. Larry was also full of 1-liners this morning, most of which were very stupid but still funny.

Kirk Noland from the Funny Bone joined the guys in studio today. Not only does he do standup but while on stage he also does some prank calls. With him this morning he brought his CD, available at the shows and at http://www.midgetcalls.com. Todd and Tyler played a couple of clips from it where Kirk is on stage at a club using a cell phone to prank call people. In both of the clips, he pretended to be a pissed off midget. In the first clip, he was mad about buying some condoms that were too small and called a drug store to see if he could return them even though he had used one already. In the second clip, he phoned a PI and asked him to track down a guy his girlfriend was sleeping with so he could shoot the guy in the butt hole. Kirk also shared a story about another call that involved a Sega and a crack head. Kirk was very funny and seemed to enjoy his time on the show. Keep in mind that he’ll be appearing at the Bone all week, including Z-92 night at the Bone with Todd and Tyler this evening. He’ll most likely return on Friday morning as well so don’t miss that. By the way, the Bone Phone is 493-8036.

Because BW had to go blow snow, Trisha Meuret from Channel 7 joined the guys later in the program with today’s entertainment report. During this time, the gang discussed how American Idol blew everyone else out of the proverbial ratings water last night, TnT schooled Trisha on the identity of Rip Torn, and she wrapped up today’s e-news with a little ‘’Who the hell is that?’’

Well, it was another outstanding Todd and Tyler radio show today, as always. If you missed this morning’s fun, tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay. Make sure to join TnT tomorrow morning as well for the Thursday edition. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-