Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 2-12-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with some talk about the Husker changes the new AD announced yesterday. From the sounds of it, all of the announced changes were ‘’cosmetic crap’’ and really have nothing to do with the team. For example, is buffing up the mascot’s appearance going to help the QB situation? Nope. Is changing back to red pants going to make the Option work better? Nope. As TnT stated, it’s all just crap, worthless crap. Also early in the show, the guys mentioned that there has been no further follow-up in the news to the Red Robin mascot fondling allegations against Pat McPherson and Chuck Sigerson, something they found odd.

TnT called one of the girls that will be going out on a blind date with Brian and Lester tonight to the Creighton game. Kerrie, who BW was unable to get in touch with yesterday, said that they’re ready to go. After firming up their plans, TnT mentioned to Kerrie that a friend of hers called earlier in today’s program and ratted her out, stating that she might be known for enjoying giving handies. TnT asked her about the possibility of her twisting off her dates, to which she replied, ‘’What happens in the limo stays in the limo.’’ Well, as you might imagine, when BW heard the possibility that there might be a zinger or two tossed his way this evening if Kerrie or her cousin dig him, he was quite excited. We’ll get a full report on tonight’s date from both BW & Lester as well as Kerrie and her friend.

After talking with Kerrie, BW delivered this morning’s newscast. There were a ton of terrible stories involving children this morning including one of a 4-month-old killed in a gang related drive-by, one of an 8-week old kid who nearly ODed after a pharmacy slip-up, another of a missing 15-year-old, and there was another Heartland story about a perv having sex with a child. Luckily for the kids, though, BW read over a story of their own representative in the news, a story about a man who killed his parents when they asked him to move out.

Now after hearing the terrible content of BW’s dead kid news stories, you might expect that I would have stabbed myself in the ears with a spoon and given up any possibility of writing an update today. Well, I stuck with the newscast and eventually heard stimulating conversation about a former Omaha police chief that can’t stop accidentally firing off his gun, a tale of a dead wrestler found in a Florida hotel that turned out to be not so perfect after all, and the gang had a great conversation about OJ Simpson’s kids. Yes, it’s 2003, not 1994. Seriously, it was funny stuff. Tune in this evening for the 3^rd Shift Replay and you’ll see for yourself.

Once BW wrapped up the news, Todd and Tyler read an e-mail from a listener named Ken. The e-mail listed a variety of local female newscasters and next to each TnT found Ken’s opinion on whether or not that particular lady was ‘’neat’’ or ‘’wolf’’. TnT read through the list, agreeing with Ken on some and disagreeing on others. They then broke down a list of all the local female newscasters into categories based on their hair colors and determined which of the ladies was the hottiest.

Todd and Tyler were joined by a guy named Mark this morning. He’s the guy who has the horse carriage ride business in the Old Market. Mark’s been down there doing the horse carriage rides for the last 25-years and came up to the show this morning to share some stories with TnT in what the guys referred to as ‘’Horse Carriage Confessions’’. After discussing the horses eating and crapping habits for a bit, Mark told the guys about some of the more seedy things he’s seen over the years. This included many incidents of people getting ‘’romantic under the blankets’’, tales of car accidents and carriage jackings, there were stories of people leaving their underwear on the carriages, there was a great tale of a couple of lesbians eating pie, and much more. The gang also discussed the enormous hogs the horses wield and how they tend to stand at attention whenever the mounted police horses walk by. It was a very interesting conversation with Mark this morning. Keep in mind that if you would like to go on one of the carriage rides, you can make reservations ahead of time by phoning 453-6745.

Travis came in with the sports report today. He spent a little time discussing his ‘’For What It’s Worth’’ feedback from last night before diving into today’s report, covering a little NASCAR and basketball, and discussing at length the Husker changes TnT talked about earlier in the show. Also during Trav’s time, TnT took a call from Deb Ward of Channel 3. They had phoned her earlier in the show to ask her whether or not she is neat or wolf but she was asleep. She phoned them back, not really knowing what they were going to ask, and talked with them for a bit before they hit her up with the question. It turns out, much to Trav’s embarrassment, Deb’s got ‘’a landing strip’’ down there.

Lewis Black phoned Todd and Tyler this morning to talk about his upcoming Funny Bone appearances on Sunday and Monday evening. He began by talking about his current travel tour (which has put him in some pretty terrible places for winter time), he moved on to talk about how all of the war coverage is making his brain melt, he talked with TnT about some of the TV things he’s working on, Lewis discussed how Comedy Central just doesn’t seem to get him (and that they’re cheap asses), and more. Unfortunately, TnT will be out of town while Lewis is in town so he won’t be able to join them on their show. Make sure you call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 for reservations to catch Lewis on either Sunday or Monday, though. It’s going to be an excellent week of comedy at the Bone with Lewis Black and Dom Irrera.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning. After spending a few minutes talking about the upcoming limited release of the Blue Collar Tour movie (in just 15 cities some time in March), he dove into a commentary about how the Homeland Security office is kind of a joke. The commentary was very funny. Hopefully we’ll get more of that sort of humor from Larry in the near future and less Oprah and Rosie commentaries.

Billy/Buddy (I’m just frick’n confused now) from the Funny Bone stopped in this morning and spent a little time brainstorming ideas for a Chuck Sigerson song with Todd and Tyler. After coming up with a couple of lyrics, he performed a bit of the tune set to ‘’Hungry Eyes’’. It sounded pretty good but it still needs a little work.

BW came back later in the show with this morning’s entertainment report. There really wasn’t a lot to his e-news today other than a list of the top 25 comedy TV shows of all time. TnT talked about the list for a bit, agreeing with most of it. The guys were able to extend the value of the e-news segment a bit by talking to Dana Dyksterheist (I have no idea how to spell her name and I can’t find it anywhere on the web), the lady the awarded with the ‘’hottest blonde’’ title during their hot local TV news chick conversation earlier in the show. She talked at length with TnT about a recent pit bull and rott story she did but wouldn’t play along with their sexual discussion about ‘’neat’’ or ‘’wolf’’.

Well, that does it for the Wednesday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for the Thursday edition. TnT will get a report on BW and Lester’s blind double date, they’ll discuss tomorrow night’s dodge ball game in Plattsmouth, and they’ll be joined by a Funny Bone guest. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-