Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 2-14-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by talking about last night’s 5-1 dodge ball victory against Plattsmouth. The guys had another great turnout for the event and raised more than $4500 for the school. This week’s Weak Ass Bitch awards went to Murphy and, I believe, Peach. Later in the show, TnT took some calls from people who attended the game but for the most part, they stayed away from turning their show into ‘’all thank you radio’’.

Also early in today’s show, TnT commented on how the news is getting even more depressing by the day with stories of a war with Iraq, the government pushing everyone to buy duct tape, and murdered and humped on kids. On a related yet lighter note, the guys spent a few moments discussing the country’s Homeland Security alter system. After analyzing exactly what the various elevated states stand for, they morphed the concept of the Homeland Security alert and turned it into their own Boner Alert System. TnT then moved on to talk about Valentines Day, which is today, and discussed the types of candies that are distributed this time of year. Everyone but Jeremy seemed to agree that the little heart-shaped chunks of limestone with words written on them are probably the worst candies ever.

BW came in with the news a bit later in the show. Before he began, Todd and Tyler talked a bit more about their dodge ball game in Plattsmouth last night. Before heading to the school, the gang stopped at the local bar/bowling alley for a couple of drinks. While there, BW was attempting to make time with a table full of hotties. When the time came for the Traveling Dodge Ball All Stars to head out, Todd asked BW if he had gotten the phone numbers of any of the ladies at the table. Brian said no so Todd took it upon himself to revive his dormant ‘’closing’’ abilities and got one of the hotties to write her number down for the no-game-having snow plower.

Brian’s actual newscast led to a plethora of discussions about dirty bombs, the space shuttle crash, trampled Muslims, and a couple of other bad guys in the news. The gang also analyzed the dating habits of Peter Brady during this portion of the show. And before escaping the vortex of the news segments, Todd and Tyler had a lengthy and hilarious conversation about people who can poop anywhere, people who can only poop at home, and the amazing similarities between a toilet and a roadside guardrail.

Todd and Tyler spoke with Bernie Kopell this morning. He used to play ‘’Doc’’ on ‘’The Love Boat’’ and as far as they could tell prior to the interview, he was making the talk show rounds to promote a new movie he’s in called ‘’Blood Head’’. As it turns out, however, he didn’t want to talk about the movie at all. Shortly after introducing him to their audience, Todd and Tyler were blindsided by Bernie when he changed the topic of conversation (which TnT thought would be about his new movie as well as his days on ‘’Love Boat’’) to some sort of funky financial pyramid scheme. He started reading from a script filled with phrases like ‘’financial freedom’’ and ‘’this is not a pyramid scheme’’. It was ri-G-damn-diculous. Todd and Tyler let him go on for a bit, though, before finally getting him back on the topic and having an interesting conversation about ‘’The Love Boat’’. They also discussed his two kids, 5 and 5-months, as well as talking about his 37-year-old wife. Bernie then went back into sales pitch mode and continued talking about his pyramid scheme financial crap for a bit before Todd and Tyler kindly let him go. Bernie gave a phone number but surprise, I forgot to write it down.

Travis came in with today’s sports report following the Bernie Kopell interview. Before he began, he talked at length with Todd and Tyler about the scheme Bernie was promoting. Travis then told the guys that it is his dream to be on QVC and to prove that he’d be the perfect pitch man, he went into his amazing ‘’Infomercial mode’’ and tossed out a variety of infomercial cliché’s. It was great. Trav eventually got to the sports, too, but it wasn’t as interesting as picturing Travis pimping Orange Glow on late-night TV.

After playing some of their love songs for Valentine’s Day, the Florea, Sigerson, and Roger Van tunes, Todd and Tyler welcomed Dom Irrera from the Funny Bone to the studio. Dom joined in on the topics of the day, helped Todd and Tyler with some redneck trained counseling, discussed what it’s like working with Cher, talked about comedians that steal like Dice Clay and Robin Williams, and he also talked about his buddy Bruce Willis. It’s really hard to categorize or pinpoint things when it comes to Todd and Tyler’s visit with Dom Irrera but it was another very funny, interesting visit with the superstar comic. You can catch him at the Funny Bone this weekend by calling 493-8036. Keep in mind that he’ll only be appearing through Saturday. Lewis Black from Comedy Central will be doing the Sunday and Monday shows at the Bone.

BW returned late in the show with today’s e-news. There really wasn’t much to it, though, so Todd and Tyler spent this potion of the show continuing their talk with Dom Irrera.

Well, that’s the Friday update. Sorry it’s a bit short but I’ve got panic shopping to do. It’s going to snow tonight, you know, and if I don’t get to the store for bread, milk, eggs, and now duct tape, I might not survive to write an update for Todd and Tyler’s return on Wednesday of next week. Tune in to the Best Of on Monday and Tuesday and make sure to rejoin the guys after they return from their short vacations next Wednesday. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-