Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Thursday 3-13-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by discussing a variety of subjects from the news. They also spent some time talking about tomorrow morning’s ‘’Married by Todd and Tyler’’ contest, giving recent developments in the evolution of the idea. The gang then spoke to yesterday’s Vegas winner. He told TnT that he and his wife are going through a divorce (still living in the same house) and asked there advice about whether he should take his wife to Vegas with him and attempt to rekindle the relationship or take his buddy and go whore around Vegas for a few days. As you might imagine, TnT suggested he take his buddy.

BW came in with the news a bit later in the show. Before he began, Jessica Dol phoned in and told TnT that her 10-month sexual dry spell was finally broken last night. After holding out for nearly 1 month with her new boyfriend, she caved and then got her cave filled in, so to speak. TnT congratulated her on her achievement and then spent some time discussing their own sexual dry spells. Oddly, TnT both had a dry spell back in January of 1997. They joked that they’ve been together so long as partners, they even stop getting laid at the same time. Also during the dry spell conversation, TnT found out that Jeremy didn’t have sex between the ages of 19 and 21, most of the time he away at school in Kearny. They were floored that he wasted two years of perfectly good having-sex-with-random-coeds time. As you might imagine, they gave him a hard time for being the king of dry spells throughout the remainder of the show.

BW eventually got into his newscast this morning. The gang discussed the Elizabeth Smart case and her amazing safe return after having gone missing 9 months ago, there was some talk about the Middle East sand storms that are troubling our soldiers over seas, and the gang played a lengthy round of ‘’What was I watching?’’ as they tried to figure out the name of a 1989 cannibal movie. Following that, the guys talked about a gripping Channel 7 story that aired last night involving a poodle that received a bad haircut. Somehow dog grooming led the guys into yet another conversation about sack shaving and pie trimming. Calls poured in from females that were willing to share their pie shaving tales, most of whom said that they let their men do it for them.

Todd and Tyler spoke to Chris Osborne this morning. He’s CNN’s terrorism expert that you’ve probably seen all over the cable station in recent months. He had a very informative and interesting conversation with Todd and Tyler about the Middle East, Muslims, the various terror networks, the US’s effectiveness in stopping terrorist activities, the possibility of War, and why the French are such tools. It seemed that both Todd and Tyler enjoyed their time with Chris Osborne this morning just as much as he enjoyed being on the show. Perhaps they’ll speak with him again in the near future, as war inches closer and closer.

Travis came in a bit later with today’s sporting news. There was quite a bit of talk about standing up and sitting down at Creighton games, a conversation spawned by a few ‘’Morons in the grandstand’’ letters to the paper. The gang also had a nice little chat about the British Armada, which came up after TnT’s comedy guest for the day arrived.

Steve Hurst, a comedian from Manchester, England, stopped in this morning and spent a few hours hanging out with TnT. He’s appearing at the Funny Bone this weekend and is one of their favorite comic guests. A) He’s funny as hell and B) he fits in so well with their show. Steve joined in on the topics of the day, shared some stories about his recent divorce, talked with the guys at lengthy about driving on the wrong side of the road, and he gave the guys a rundown of foreign chicks with wolf puss syndrome. Make it a point to get out to the Funny Bone this week/weekend and see Steve. He’s great! Call the Bone Phone at 493-8036.

Todd and Tyler spoke to Heidi Fleiss this morning. She has a new book out called ‘’Pandering’’. TnT spent some time talking with Heidi about her new hooker book and then moved on to more interesting topics like why she and Tom Sizemore broke up. They then asked her about her longest sexual dry spell, brought up because of an early morning conversation, and Heidi said her longest sexual drought occurred when she was in prison. TnT reminded her, though, that the last time they spoke, Heidi told them she got some lesbian prison dildo action. Heidi also got into wolf puss theory and she seemed to agree with TnT that the wolf puss is out. She claims to have a ‘’Hitler-stash’’. It was yet another enlightening conversation with Hollywood’s favorite pimp/hooker.

Later in the show, TnT got a call from Bosnia. The caller, a military guy, has been stationed over there for a while and phoned the show for a little piece of home. Due to the 3-second satellite delay in their conversation, there was a lot of ‘’over’’, ending each party’s statement. It was hilarious. TnT spoke to the guy about what he has seen over in Bosnia and asked him whether or not he’d be going to fight in Iraq if a war breaks out. The caller didn’t seem willing to offer up the details TnT were looking for, though.

To wrap up today’s show, BW returned with the entertainment report. The gang had a hilarious conversation about bells attached to Christopher Reeves’ penis, they covered the Daytime Emmy Awards, and Brian read a list of the top 10 war movies of all time. Also, Jessica came into the studio to discuss her early morning call where she told TnT her dry spell had been broken via a TnT-described ‘’Grand reopening’’. BW called her a whore repeatedly for apparently no reason so she retaliated by calling him a ‘’piss ant’’.

Well, that does it for the Thursday update. Make sure you tune in tomorrow for the ‘’Married By Todd and Tyler’’ contest. Yes, two strangers are actually going to get married sight-unseen on tomorrow’s show. It should be another Todd and Tyler show landmark so don’t miss it! Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby- OVER