Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Thursday 3-27-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by talking about the local coverage of the war. The guys got a kick out of both Channel 3 and Channel 7’s giant maps of Iraq, both looking rather pitiful when compared to the network television and cable television’s maps of that part of the world. TnT both agreed that the local news should stick to covering local stories and let the big guys handle the national coverage. The gang then read yet another letter from Anita Man, the hooker who has been writing them from the Sarpy County pokey. The letter had the ‘’you made fun of me for being a fatty’’ tone, yet as TnT read through it, they pointed out several instances when she referred to herself as a hog so they stopped feeling so bad about making fun of the fat, jailed ho. From there, the guys moved on to discuss air guitaring, singing aloud in their cars like rock stars, and they analyzed some Lynard Skynard lyrics.

BW came in with the news a bit later in the show. The gang spent some time talking about controversial topics for teachers after a story about a local teacher who got in trouble for some anti-war statements. The discussion morphed into a conversation about religion and the Catholic school system’s views on sex and sex ed. From there, the gang discussed the ethics of duct taping Corkys to their car seats in Wal-Mart parking lots and exactly what characterizes a ‘’combatant retard’’. To conclude the news, there was some talk of pregnancy tests, as Tyler had to purchase one for his lovely bride the other day (no positive, as they later found out). The guys wondered what would happen if a dude peed on one, something Brian offered himself up to test out. Perhaps we’ll hear BW peeing on an EPT sometime in the near future. Stay tuned.

The gang got into a lengthy sack shaving discussion again this morning. I’m not even exactly sure how the subject came up but it lasted quite a while. TnT talked of their sack trimming habits, something that was unthinkable to them both just a few years ago. Todd talked about using a BIC on his sack once, which Tyler thought was impossible due to the ‘’chicken skin’’ bumps most dudes (I assume) have down there. Jeremy talked about going to work on his brush fire with an electric beard trimmer.

As the conversation continued, one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard on the Todd and Tyler show occurred. Keep in mind that I’ve lived through such horrors as a man biting off a pig’s nuts, rotts humping, handling Trav’s rat pelt back hair, having to listen to vomit microphone, and seeing unedited photos of the queen of the 2002 Z-Bash (and her gaping vag) but none of that compared to the graphic mental image the Todd and Tyler show ruined my cerebral cortex with this morning. Travis came into the room and joined in on the sack shaving conversation. He couldn’t believe anyone would trim up their throck area, especially Todd or Tyler. Then, upon Todd and Tyler’s request, both Travis and BW began to show their body hair to TnT. They both flashed their backs, chests, their hair-filled butt cracks, and they even damaged TnT’s retinas with a shot of their crotch hair.

After seeing the massive follicle sprouting action, Jeremy called both of them ‘’wolf boys’’ and provided a hilarious sound effect to go with the designation. Todd and Tyler then spent some time talking about how it appeared that the normally rug-like fur ball known as BW appeared to be completely shaven from about belly button down. BW attempted to dispute TnT’s claims but failed miserably.

Later in the show, the guys got into a chick flick argument, focusing on how Jeremy bought the Pay-Per-View of ‘’Sweet Home Alabama.’’ He retorted, pointing out that Tyler digs chick flicks and recently bought ‘’About A Boy’’. He then switched his assault to BW, who admitted to having seen ‘’Sweet Home Alabama’’ in the freaking movie theater when it first came out. The continued the discussion for a while, eventually reverting back to their sack shaving conversation before moving on.

Trav came in with the sports report this morning. He referred to the ‘’generic’’ practices and spring game claims by the Husker coaches and covered a few other stories before continuing the sack shaving discussion from earlier in the show. It was at this point that Travis uttered, ‘’I’m in tone with my penis.’’ Yes, it was hot-buttoned and played repeatedly throughout the rest of the morning. The guys then took a few more phone calls from listeners who wanted to talk about shaving body hair. Some shared stories of various hair removal products, which then sent Travis into his hilarious Infomercial Man mode.

Greg Warren and the MC, some guy named BJ that I didn’t happen to catch the last name of, from the Funny Bone came in this morning and hung out with TnT for a bit. They joined in on the topics of the day and shared a variety of their own stories. Greg spent a year as a West Point cadet while BJ graduated from Harvard. Their tales of such schools were quite interesting today and surprise, surprise, surprise, both comics were very funny. You can catch both of them at the Funny Bone this weekend by phoning 493-8036 for reservations.

BW returned later in the show with today’s e-news segment. There was some talk about whether Spanish speaking Mexican stars do the voice-over work for Disney movies when they get shipped across the boarder. BW then read over some ‘’This day in history,’’ which related to both the every day world and the music world.

To wrap up their show this morning, Colleen fro the Funny Bone joined TnT in studio. The gang recapped the story about the man who fell asleep in the Bone bathroom during a Medicine Hat show a while ago. At that time Colleen told TnT that she heard the man had moved out of Omaha because he could no longer take the crap his friends and family were giving him for the incident. After a few minutes of research, TnT were able to get the guy’s phone number and checked in with him. It turns out that he moved to Vegas to follow a stripper, not because he couldn’t take the heat from his family about crashing at the Bone.

Well, that does it for today’s update. It’s now time for me to go repeatedly bash my head into the block of my car’s engine in hopes that it will flush out the mental image of the exposed hairy ass cracks of both Travis and Brian. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-