Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 3-28-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with a visit from their buddy Black Tony, who brought with him a little Morris Day and the Time to help kick off the Friday show. After squashing some rumors that Tony is jobless and beats his woman, the gang decided to reset yesterday’s discussion about sack shaving. Todd told us that after the show he went home, gave himself a rail, greased up his sack with some conditioner, and shaved the bear completely with a Mach 3. The guys then moved on to a little war talk, stating again that all the coverage you need comes from the 5:30pm national news broadcasts. Also early in the show, TnT mentioned an article that was written in the Lincoln college paper by a freshman that equated Sweetwater Willie’s injuries to the Kennedy assassination. Todd tried to find the article online but it was gone.

BW came in with the news a bit later in the show. After some local stories, the gang continued their war talk, there was some discussion about whether or not sperm can spell, and BW did a heartwarming story about a 15-year-old girl who was returned to her home back in the USA after her boyfriend took her to Mexico for the 4 years prior, giving her two ‘’1/2 Spaniard kids’’ in the process. There was also a great story about a nut job that was arrested for stabbing a potbelly pig. During that story, Tyler said, ‘’Who hasn’t stabbed a pig while drunk? Hell, I stabbed 2 pigs while drunk in college.’’ Also during the news, TnT were e-mailed a link to the Husker article that related the Kennedy assassination to Husker Sweetwater Willie’s injuries. After the guys completed reading the statements, they encouraged the author to quit journalism immediately.

Today was another installment of Big Beefy Friday and as their celebrity Catholic, Todd and Tyler brought in Lancer coach Mike Hastings. The guys spent some time talking with the coach about the progress of this season so far, they covered the much better conditions the new Lancer arena has compared to the old hole, and they also talked about recruiting. Throughout his visit, Todd and Tyler tempted the recent convert with some think, juicy red meat. Hastings, 7 years as a Catholic now thanks to his wife forcing him to fall prey to the dark side, was quite tempted but didn’t eat any. I’m sure we’ll hear more from Coach Hastings as the Lancer season progresses.

Todd and Tyler phoned Kiri, the listener who was married in studio just a few weeks ago, and asked her about rumors they have been hearing regarding her relationship with her new husband Bill. Basically, they wanted to know if the two had knocked it out yet. Kiri didn’t seem willing to offer up any details, confirming that they had indeed slept together when she decided to plea the 5^th instead of answering TnT’s inquiries directly. At one point in the conversation, the guys asked ‘’Is Bill there right now?’’ Kiri replied with an, ‘’I don’t know’’ and at that precise moment, Todd and Tyler heard the grumblings of a male voice in the background. It was hilarious. After the tiniest bit of prodding, Todd and Tyler convinced Kiri to hand the phone over to Bill, who had obviously stayed the night with his bride. The TnT Show gang cheered Bill uproariously with, ‘’You da man’’ chants, congratulating him on finally sleeping with his wife after 10 days of marriage. We’re likely to hear more from the happy couple as May’s trip to Vegas approaches so stay tuned.

Mark Lundholm from the Funny Bone joined Todd and Tyler again this morning and spent the last couple of hours hanging out with the guys. He shared a bunch of rehab stories, philosophized about relationships, talked of his pie licking girlfriend, shared Half Way House stories, and put his two cents in on Catholicism all during his visit today. He even told the story about how he nearly gave Colleen from the Funny Bone a heart attack back in 1996 when he debuted his joke about whether Mother Theresa ever wondered about her own clitoris. As always, it was another great visit with Mark. You can make reservations to see him this weekend by phoning 493-8036.

Later in the show, Todd and Tyler received an e-mail from a listener providing them with the phone number of Michael, the student who wrote the article they had been discussing all morning which related the Sweetwater Willie injury with the Kennedy assassination. TnT phoned the guy and after he dropped the ‘’How’d you get this number’’ card and initially hung up on them, they were able to get him to go on the air with them. They started off by giving him crap for the article but as they talked to him, they realized Michael was an okay kid. By the end of their talk, Todd and Tyler both seemed to feel kind of bad about viciously railing on the 18-year-old college freshman that just happened to write something a bit silly in his college newspaper. ‘’We’re such dicks.’’

Travis came in with the sports report this morning. Because it is Big Beefy Friday, Trav remembered to put on his King of all Catholics pants before coming to work and spent most of the morning reiterating that he and his wife didn’t have sex before they were married. Mark Lundholm, along with TnT, analyzed Travis and his issues for a bit and it was during this discussion that Trav revealed that he doesn’t like to poke period pie. I believe the subject came up after the guys spent some time talking about the guy that was arrested for stabbing a pig. Tyler shared a tale about how he once had sex with a woman and afterwards, it looked like he had murdered someone. Well, from that the humping on the rag discussion evolved. Everyone flipped out on Travis for saying that he won’t have sex with his wife during her cycle and then discussed the topic at length for the next half hour or so. You could literally hear Travis crouching down in his chair.

BW left about half way through today’s show in order to attend some sort of small business convention. Consequently, Trisha Meuret from Channel 7 joined TnT in studio and delivered today’s e-news. The gang spent some time talking about reality TV shows and their downfall, they moved on to cover Tivo stats as they relate to the Oscars, there was a little discussion about a street being named for Fonda downtown, and the gang talked about a variety of names that appeared on today’s ‘’Who the hell is that?’’ list.

Well, that does it for the Friday update. You can catch the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show airing on Sunday night at 10pm and make sure you rejoin Todd and Tyler Monday morning at 5:30am as they kick off another week of stellar programming. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-