Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 5-2-03

Todd and Tyler started off the show this morning by welcoming Black Tony to the studio. They talked about porn for a bit, stating that young guys have it lucky today. The subject came up because of an early morning e-mail Tyler opened. It featured a bunch of 18-year-olds giving Diekmans that basically exploded all over his screen. The guys all recalled the old days of having to buy porn magazines at the drug store and run home to twist off. The gang then shifted gears and talked about the President landing on an aircraft carrier yesterday. They didn’t see the speech but talked about it for a bit, focusing their attention mostly on the fact that this was the first time a President has ever landed on an aircraft carrier like that.

Also early, TnT speculated about possible concerts that might be coming to the new Arena for it’s grand opening late this summer. They had heard that Bruce Springsteen might be the opening act but found out recently that he will not be. They talked about how Dickson, the guy running the show down at the new arena, said that the first act could be bigger than Springsteen. TnT both agreed that besides the Stones, you’re probably not going to find anyone bigger than the Boss. They expressed their hope that Dickson wasn’t referring to any country act and then opened up the phone lines and let their listeners weigh in on who they felt might be bigger than Springsteen.

During that call-taking segment, TnT received a call from a Norfolk woman who, as TnT found out, only comes to the big city for supplies. Her call, lacking any substance or purpose, prompted more ‘’reopen Richard Young’’ outcries from the callers that followed her. TnT felt it appropriate to replay yesterday’s call from a woman in a ‘’special room’’ that only helped to underline the need for Omaha to have a facility to help care of the mentally ill. After all, without one, all of the people who need help are just going to call TnT for it.

BW came in with the news a bit later in the program. The gang spent some time talking about two pit bulls that were shot in Omaha. They killed two other dogs before turning their attention on a pug named Mr. Aggressive. Luckily for Mr. Aggressive, the police were able to kill the pit bulls first. That story led to a hilarious Pugs and Bulls ‘’West Side Story’’ parallel that had me rolling. The guys also talked about a mesh shirt wearing crank head who was busted for having a mobile lab in Lincoln. That’s not necessarily odd in and of itself but the fact that he was completely naked except for the mesh shirt made for the twist in the story. The guys also wondered whether or not when Jesus comes back, he’ll be like the liquid metal Terminator from ‘’T2: Judgment Day’’.

After the news, TnT continued their earlier discussions about possible arena opening acts and aircraft carriers. They pondered exactly how big the boats are and then took a few phone calls from listeners who have been on them. Somehow the conversations switched to overseas hookers and pregnancies on board and TnT found out that on-ship humping is a real problem for the military. Everyone seemed to get a kick out of the women on aircraft carriers known to sleep around being referred to as ‘’Nava-hoes’’ (That’d be Navy Hoes for all you in Wahoo).

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning and delivered a commentary on Hilary Clinton’s new book, which was ghost written. Keep in mind that Larry will be in town at the Funny Bone in the middle of May. Call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 for reservations before he sells out.

Trav stopped in with today’s sports report and FWIW. The gang talked quite a bit about Coach Eustachy as well as some talk about an Alabama coach who was busted for having a dancer come up to his hotel room. The room, paid for by the university, ended up getting nearly $1000 charged to it by the dancer who was obviously hungry because she charged ‘’one of everything’’ on the menu to the coach’s room. Trav then did last night’s FWIW commentary, which was about how the president must find some weapons of mass destruction in Iraq in order to justify taking out Saddam. It was a surprisingly democratic point of view from the otherwise conservative, republican former sports guy.

Also during Trav’s visit, TnT talked about how LP was just booted from the Montreal Alouettes because he didn’t meet the ‘’minimum behavioral requirements’’ for the team. Wondering exactly what the minimum behavioral requirements were, Todd took to the phones and attempted to call Canada. He had a little difficulty with the phones but the guys eventually got through. They left a voice mail for one of the Alouettes’ coaches asking about the minimum behavioral requirements but never received a call back.

The guys from Acoustic Groove came in studio and played a couple of tunes for TnT. They mentioned that they’re not totally acoustic any longer, as there is now a rhythm section to the band. They’re going to be at a bunch of places in the coming weeks including at a place that’s off of 132nd and Dodge this weekend. It’s got a funky name that starts with the letter ‘D’ but I have no idea how to spell it. By the way, if you’d like to get on the e-mail list for Acoustic Groove, send and e-mail to acousticgroove@cox.net.

J Medicine Hat stopped in this morning and spent some time talking with TnT about a couple of Philipono hookers he bought for $500 a while ago. He joined in on all the other topics of the morning as well, which included some further talk about flavored baby wipes and bung licking. A listener checked in with a question about where one could find the fruit flavored baby wipes and that sent the snowball rolling. Callers checked in to talk about bung licking and flavored baby wipes as TnT filled Hat in on the story. Also during his time with TnT, Hat continued his rant about how frustrated he is with his wife, although not to the hilarious extent of yesterday’s rants. Hat’s at he Bone all weekend so call 493-8036 for reservations. I believe he’s in town next week as well so if you don’t get the chance to see him this weekend, you’d better call the Bone for next week.

BW came in with today’s e-news segment. During the bung licking talk just prior, BW said ‘’That’s a fine tasting ass’’, joking about how no one else in the room seemed to have a problem with bung licking (as BW does). Well, Jeremy isolated the clip and the rest of the e-news was punctuated with Brian saying over and over ‘’That’s a fine tasting ass.’’ As you might imagine, the ‘’Who the hell is that?’’ segment was hilarious. BW seemed to want to lick the butt of every celebrity mentioned, but mostly the old men.

TnT spoke to Fred, formerly of Jack and Fred, this morning. He is now allowed to talk to the guys because his contract has concluded. He’s working at a country station in Kansas in the afternoons now. The guys informed Fred that they’ve been referring to Jack as ‘’the back stabbing son of a bitch’’ and Fred really didn’t seem to have a problem with that. He said that he’s worked 19 years in morning radio and with the exception of the first few years, he and Jack were not friends. They golfed together but that and their show was their only connection. In fact, Fred was on the golf course when he spoke to TnT today (surprise!). Anyway, when TnT asked Fred if he had anything to say to his former partner, Fred replied with a ‘’Bite me’’ and that was it. It was nice to hear that Fred hates Jack. I don’t know why, but it’s somehow satisfying. I’m sure TnT will be in touch with Fred in the future so stay tuned.

Well, that does it for today’s update. Keep in mind that Todd and Tyler will be in Vegas on Monday and Tuesday but they will return again for a live show on Wednesday of next week. Until then, enjoy the Best Of and 3rd Shift Replay shows. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-