Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 5-7-03

Todd and Tyler started off the show this morning with a little talk about last night’s episode of ‘’American Idol.’’ As you can tell, they’re back in Omaha where there’s nothing to do but watch TV after being in Vegas for the past few days. The gang then spent some time talking about their Vegas trip. Kiri, the woman who got married in studio for the trip to Vegas didn’t bother to go on the trip, which really pissed the guys off. Bill, on the other hand, did go with his current girlfriend. Tyler and Becky bought a $14.99 hotel room porno called ‘’Barely Legal’’. Becky only got to see 4 minutes of it but due to clever sexual positioning, Tyler was able to check out 12 minutes. Tyler’s dad bought a helicopter ride into the Grand Canyon and road on a boat in the river down there. Todd took a little trip out to the desert in a Buick, ending up in the lowest point below sea level, Death Valley. All in all, it sounded like a great time was had in Vegas by all.

The guys then spent some time trying to get caught up on what happened locally while they were gone. They talked about Sunday’s storms for a bit before moving on to talk about some of Trav’s recent FWIW commentaries. The guys wondered why Travis hasn’t touched on Boys Town having knowledge that one of their fathers had been in trouble for whacking off little boys before they hired him and instead opting to talk about such riveting subjects as ‘’license plates are ugly’’ and ‘’weather coverage is good’’.

BW came in with today’s newscast. He was in Kansas City during the big storm on Sunday so he spent some time discussing that. He said he saw 5 leveled houses and some interstate signs that were twisted. He then dove into the newscast, where the guys talked about critters ripping off toenails on a fungus commercial on TV, a rich cat that inherited a London home, people with carpet for grass in Florida, a horse in a car wash in North Platte, and there was plenty of talk about a disturbing story involving a hiker who had to cut off his own arm that had become trapped under an 800 pound boulder in order to escape death.

During the news, Dr. Ed joined TnT live from his basement in Tyler, TX. He weighed in on the toe fungus commercials on TV and also discussed the 800-pound boulder self-amputation story. He then spent some time talking with the guys about SARS. TnT also opened up the phone lines and let their listeners ask questions of the doctor. Some of the topics covered today included spray-on tanning, the possibilities of getting pregnant by jamming tummy load into one’s pie, 3rd nipple talk, throck balloons to help with erections, and there was lots of discussion about a terrible story of a boy who had a tumor removed in one of those ‘’-stan’’ countries. Evidentially, the tumor was actually his twin that the living boy had grown around. The twin wasn’t fully developed and wasn’t actually alive but became a tumor (that had friggin hair!) that fed off of the living boy’s body. It was creepy. Dr. Ed will most likely be joining the guys again in a couple of week so if you missed out on your chance to talk with him today, stay tuned.

Kiri’s friend phoned in today and attempted to explain to TnT why Kiri didn’t go on the trip. She claimed that Kiri’s doctor had told her to ‘’stay close to home’’ because she hasn’t been feeling well. TnT, although nice to Kiri’s friend that called, coughed about 50 quite audible BS’s at her, not believing a word of Kiri’s story. Later, Bill phoned in and expressed how much of a great time he and his girlfriend had in Vegas, not seeming to give a damn that Kiri skipped out on the trip. The impending divorce is right around the corner so stay tuned to see how this ugly monster unfolds.

Travis stopped in with today’s sportscast. There was a little Vegas talk when he joined the guys, quickly followed up by the sportscast. TnT seemed to get a kick out of the fact that the Huskers are not ranked in the top 25 on a recent pre-season pole that Travis detailed today. The guys then talked a bit more about the Alabama coach being fired. Following that, Travis did his FWIW commentary from last night, which was about the new license plates.

Todd and Tyler spoke to their comedy buddy Carl Banks. They tried to get a hold of him last week to find out if he’d ever slept with Bret Butler. Carl said he hadn’t and then talked with the guys about his recent marriage. He also told TnT that he’s traveling now putting together a DVD, he’s been working on getting rolls in a variety of pilots, he discussed wanting to hump on the Olsen twins once they become legal (‘’Who’s your Billboard Daddy?’’) and Carl spent some time filling TnT in on some of the new slang bouncing around the world of brotha’s.

Larry the Cable Guy phoned in this morning with a commentary on the Alabama coach getting busted for humping some whores in a hotel room. Larry then told TnT that the Blue Collar Tour movie is going to be available in video stores on June 2nd. He also talked with the guys about his upcoming visit to the Omaha Funny Bone next week and stated he’d be joining TnT in studio next Thursday and Friday.

BW returned later in the show with today’s e-news. There was some talk about promotions gone wrong, spawned by a story about Krispy Kreme and the Kansas City Royals having to give away more doughnuts than expected. The gang then discussed how Boom Boom from ‘’Welcome Back Kotter” was busted for beating up a woman on roller skates in Venice Beach recently. TnT then had a lengthy and quite disturbing conversation about Nell Carter’s corpse and mushrooms. BW then read over the list of ‘’Who the hell is that?’’ and filled us in on an obscure dead guy of the day. Brian then wrapped up the e-news with a heartwarming story about a woman who killed a family member by plunging a corkscrew into a guy’s chest.

BW and Jeremy will be out at Hooters tonight from 5 to 7pm for some calendar searching event. It should be lots of fun so feel free to join them.

Well, that does it for the Wednesday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for their Thursday show. Bobcat is supposed to be joining the guys via the phone so don’t miss it. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-