Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 5-14-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by discussing Trav’s FWIW last night, which seemed to be yet another ‘’Conservatives good’’ speech that railed on Hollywood for some of the anti-war opinions. They then moved on to talk of Zack’s ass on NYPD Blue last night and pondered if he’s the only guy who, after an argument, has ever went straight to doggy style sex as the first sexual encounter. From there, they read over an e-mail informing them that the Omaha zoo is teaching their male gorillas to masturbate by rewarding such behavior with Skittles. It was also reported that there were human male zoo employees simulating masturbation in order to teach the gorillas how to twist one off, all for reproductive purposes, of course. The subject of the Omaha zoo and the monkeys twisting off for Skittles came up on the Todd and Tyler show about 5 years ago but no one seemed to remember it. TnT then moved on to talk briefly about the back page of the latest Sports Illustrated magazine that featured a great article by their new buddy Rick Riley.

Senator Ben Nelson phoned Todd and Tyler this morning and spent some time talking with the guys about the President’s recent visit to Omaha. The reason behind the visit was rather clear. GW wants Ben’s support on his proposed tax relief and economic stimulus package. Ben discussed how his idea to have the states receive some cash support for backing the President’s idea would really help everyone out in the long run. Ben also talked about being a practical joker around the office, discussed some recent talks he had with Gingrich as well as the President and discussed being called into various committees to talk about bi-partisan issues. Ben also chuckled his way out of TnT’s comments about masturbating monkeys and the Huskers playing Troy State this year. Before letting the senator go, TnT asked him about Air Force 1. Ben jokingly said that he and Lee Terry have to box each other out like basketball players for rides on the jet. It was quite funny. I’m sure we’ll be hearing from Ben Nelson again in the future so stay tuned.

BW came in with the news after the Senator’s conversation with Todd and Tyler. Before BW got into the report, the gang got into a lengthy argument about why Brian would refuse to meet President Clinton if he had the chance. BW took the ‘’I just don’t like the guy as a person’’ position while TnT attempted to reason with Brian by saying that he has never met Bill Clinton and aside from his politics, Brian might actually like the person. It was a hopeless argument for TnT though, as BW’s brains have obviously been rattled from too much time on the mower.

And as proof of the news chick’s scrambled cortex, BW told TnT that he received a check in the mail for $150 from Cox Communications the other day. Brian tried to figure out why he’d received the check because he hasn’t had Cox service for nearly 9 years. BW went as far as to call the customer service phone number and he spent 20 minutes on the line with a representative that told BW there should have been no reason for him to receive the check. Brian went on to tell TnT that he was scared to deposit it, fearing that if he did, he would somehow be signed up for Cox services. It took Todd and Tyler all of 10 seconds to ask BW, ‘’Didn’t you do a remote at the Dicks Sporting Goods as part of a Cox promotion about a month ago?’’ Bingo. Mystery solved and laughter erupted. BW then got into today’s newscast where the gang discussed Sun Dog huts, Bennington city services, fat filled Oreo cookies in CA, smokers with no perception of time, and a guy with a big bed soar on his ass that eventually killed him.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning and delivered a commentary on the high school hazing video that was all over the news last week. Larry didn’t seem to have a problem with it, referring to his opinions that Jesus probably hazed his disciples. From that stemmed the ‘’John the Baptist with a marshmallow between his butt cheeks’’ line. Keep in mind that Larry will be in town at the fabulous Funny Bone this week. There are still tickets available for a few shows. You can find out information or make your reservations by calling 493-8036. Larry will also be joining TnT in studio tomorrow and Friday morning so don’t miss out.

Travis came in with his sports report and FWIW commentary this morning. During the FWIW discussion, the gang covered the various angles some Hollywood actors have taken as it relates to GW’s politics, the war, and the economy in general. They then moved on to discuss the teenagers that were busted last night for running onto the field and sliding on the tarp during last night’s Creighton Vs. Husker rain delay down at the Johnny. A friend of one of the guys checked in and said he was going to join the guys but he was drunk and because he was a minor, he didn’t think it was such a good idea.

Following that call Mike, one of the guys who actually made it out onto the field, checked in. Mike told TnT that a girl he was there with last night, Jenny, said she’d give him $50 if he ran onto the field and bail him out of jail if need be. Well, Mike and his buddy (Jenny brother) actually did it. TnT discussed the all mighty security guards that went way overboard in tackling the kids who were just out to have some harmless fun. The guys found out that Mike and his buddy were ticketed with a $1000 fine for the stunt, which everyone found quite amusing yet kind of stupid.

Later, TnT phoned Mike’s friend Jenny to find out if she would be paying up the $50. She, 18-years-old, said she didn’t know where she’d come up with the money but she would pay him back. TnT then moved in to work the ‘’Would you be willing to pay him off with a little barter?’’ (a typical radio industry approach, it appears). When they brought it up to Mike, he seemed quite up on the idea. Jenny, however, pulled the ‘’Ew!’’ card and said she wouldn’t give Mike a little pie instead of the $50 because ‘’He’s my best friend.’’ After some further encouragement that seemed to fall on deaf ears, TnT let Jenny go and moved on with their show.

The gang welcomed Sean Gnandt to the studio this morning and hung out for the remainder of the show, joining in on the topics of the day during an amazingly funny yet all-over-the-board e-news segment. Joining him was Colleen from the Funny Bone. She told Todd and Tyler that the Bone is switching to their summer hours after this week’s Cable Guy shows, which means an 8pm start time. She also mentioned that they 8pm Saturday shows are now going to be smoke free! A bit later in her visit with TnT, Colleen told them about a contest she is running to find the funniest person in Omaha, as described in your Reader magazine. Tonight, she’s got 6 local people who will be taking the stage for 5 minutes of open mike night. She’s doing another one on Sunday and probably some more to follow. For information, phone 493-8036.

TnT spent a bit of time towards the end of their show this morning recapping the twisted tale of Bill, Donna, and Mike. Kiri, who used to be part of the mess, was eliminated for lack of participation, it seems. Anyway, TnT replayed a sequence of phone calls, including the Donna Vs. Mike’s sister cat fight call from yesterday. They then took a call from JD of Down To Here, who said he knew the whole bunch from way back. Somehow during his call and another call from Mike, someone somewhere talked about somebody hitting on somebody else’s mom. I don’t know, the saga continues and I’m just confused. I’m sure we’ll hear more again soon so stay tuned for ‘’As Council Bluffs Turns’’.

BW returned with the e-news to wrap up today’s record setting show. The gang discussed Tommy Chong pleading guilty to selling bongs, which led to a lengthy discussion about pot, bongs, and other paraphernalia. The gang then moved on to discuss Dan Akroid hosting SNL this weekend for the first time ever before they dove into how Brian has ‘’poutie lips’’. That somehow led into a little horse racing talk with Geno from Come On Into My Kitchen Catering. And before wrapping up the show, TnT discussed Hannibal’s brother, Curtis, and then talked about a story of a man biting off the finger of his sister while they argued at a nightclub back east.

Well, that does it for today’s update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3rd Shift Replay. It should be finishing up right around the time TnT take to the airwaves tomorrow morning at 5:30am. Larry the Cable Guy will be joining the guys tomorrow and there is plenty more scheduled to take place so don’t miss it. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-