Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Tuesday 5-20-03

This morning’s Todd and Tyler show began with Tyler telling us about a dream he had last night centering on Joan London. Due to the fact Tyler watched all 3 hours of last night’s ABC tribute to their last 50 years of broadcasting, Joan London stuck in his head. Tyler dreamt he went up to her apartment for inevitable sex but because had to pee in real life, he woke up before he got the chance to take care of her. The gang then moved on to talk about the season finale of ‘’Mr. Personality’’, which was a total piece of crap to begin with and was only proven when the lady conveniently picked the guy with a million bucks to be her man. Big surprise there, huh. TnT then discussed briefly Trav’s FWIW commentary from last night but seemed rather bored of that subject so they promptly moved on, allowing for further discussion when Travis actually arrived later in the show.

BW came in with today’s newscast a bit later in the show. The guys started off with a little talk about ticks. Todd found one on his neck recently and eliminated the pest before it sunk itself in. Larry the Cable Guy also had a tick while he visited last week, which Todd’s wife happily picked off his back. TnT then moved on to talk about the forced remodeling of crack hotel on Dodge Street, a crazy mail thief, a recent wheelchair theft at a local mall, and the gang had a lengthy discussion about the insurance industry with both Tyler and BW sharing complaints about recent reamings the insurance companies have dolled out to them.

The guys went on to discuss running over animals with motorcycles, the troops laying Metallica to piss off the Iraqi prisoners, and the gang all mellowed out with a little ‘’Teletubbies’’ talk. Humorously, they actually got calls from grown men with no children that knew every name, color, and audible mumble made by each of the freakishly entertaining creatures. BW then wrapped up the news with a story about a disturbed child that tortured a cat and threw it to a hungry alligator somewhere in Florida.

TnT also spoke to Rob McCartney of Channel 7 this morning. They wanted to talk about a recent story Rob did on the speed of traffic on I-80. Rob discussed running out to the road during the newscast to get both a studio shot and live shot. He also told the guys about getting a ride on the state patrol’s helicopter, which he said was very cool. During their conversation, the gang somehow got off on a very strange tangent about ass hairs coming out of Jon Schuetz’s bung.

Matt Higgins and Kelly Shattuck from Cohen, Vacanti, Higgins, and Shattuck came by this morning and spent a couple of hours hanging out with Todd and Tyler. Today was the day TnT had scheduled for Bill and Kiri to come in and get their divorce started but for some reason, only Bill showed up. The lawyers told TnT that Kiri had come by the office already and things were already in motion to get Bill and Kiri legally divorced. Along with Bill came Donna, his current girlfriend. In order to fill in the lawyers on the saga that has unfolded between Bill, Donna, Donna’s husband Mike, Mike’s sister, and Mike’s mother over the past few weeks, TnT played a bunch of the recorded phone calls they’ve taken. The sorted details of the evolution of Bill and Kiri’s relationship as well as Bill and Donna’s relationship seemed to confuse the hell out of the lawyers, which made me feel better about myself because I’ve gotten lost in the details of the story recently, too.

The lawyers didn’t really answer any phone calls this morning and that seemed to be because Todd and Tyler have tired of one redneck call after another. Instead, the gang discussed more general law issues throughout the visit as well as talking about whatever else happened to come up in conversation. Matt shared a hilarious story about his days as a police officer in the military in which he had to take down a man who was ‘’intruding’’. The guy actually turned out to be a janitor and the retarded, deaf son of another employee. Of course, Matt didn’t know that until he had already leveled the poor man. The gang also spent some time talking about the legality of receiving a Diekman as payment for rent, which TnT didn’t have a problem with but the lawyers did. From there, they talked of the police department and Trav’s FWIW commentary last night about Todd Sears getting a retirement pension. Tim Butts from the Nebraska ACLU checked in, too, and touched on a few subjects. I’m sure that Matt and Kelly will be rejoining TnT in the near future so if you missed them today, stay tuned in for their next visit.

Travis came in this morning with his sports report and FWIW commentary from last night’s 10pm KM3 newscast. Before he began, TnT somehow found out from Travis that his wife told him that she wouldn’t marry him years ago unless he was going to get his college degree. TnT phoned her and she confirmed Trav’s statement, although she said she never actually put it to him that way. She just said she told Trav she thought it would be a good idea for him to graduate college. When asking Trav what he would have done had he not gone to college, Trav’s pure geekdom came out and he admitted that he was going to join the Navy. He went so far as to hang out with the Navy recruiters in the mall day after day until when the time finally came for him to officially sign up, he pulled out. Trav eventually got into his FWIW commentary about Todd Sears, which spawned a lot of discussion with the lawyers and some phone calls from people within the police department on both sides of the debate.

Later in the show, TnT got a call from a Lincoln listener that detailed a very lengthy story about how a pit bull trapped her in her home. The subject was spawned by another pit bill story in the news yesterday that ended when an officer shot one of the evil creatures in the back of the head. The Lincoln listeners went on and on about how a pit bull in her neighborhood chased her dog up to the front porch of her home and barked at her through the door for quite some time. She attempted to get help from the police but they pointed her in the direction of animal control. Eventually the dog left, was found by animal control and returned to it’s owner, which pissed off the lady because she wanted the dog executed. TnT ended the call, seemingly a little bored with the same old ‘’pit bull bad, no wait, my pit bull good’’ discussion.

BW returned later in the show with today’s e-news segment. During that time, he reported that ‘’The Practice’’ is returning next year but most of the main characters will not be. Along the same lines, the gang discussed current SNL people who won’t be returning next season. The gang then got into a lengthy argument about the classification of pot as a narcotic. After going round and round and receiving phone calls and faxes on the subject, the gang cleared everything up by reading a detailed list of the various ‘’schedules’’ of narcotics that proved pot is indeed considered a ‘’schedule 1 narcotic’’, the most dangerous of all. The guys also had a very long argument about whether or not Bill Laimbeer had ever played the roll of a Sleestak in ‘’Land of the Lost’’.

Before leaving the air today, TnT spoke to Dean Wysocki of channel 42 about the possibility of good weather for Sunday’s big summer kick-off bash at the Anchor. So far, the weather is supposed to be good, which pleased TnT. They talked about some of the bands that will be playing, including Blue House, the Confidentials, the Lava Rockets, and the Fish Heads. Later, they took a call from Joe of Blue House who put out a challenge to all of the bands asking them to perform one Zep tune to coincide with Z’s Zep weekend. Further details on the summer kick-off bash will be shared as the week progresses so stay tuned.

Tomorrow Todd and Tyler will be joined by the amazing Dr. Ed and Blue House is scheduled to come in and perform a few tunes for us. Make sure to join TnT tomorrow at 5:30am for the Wednesday program and keep in mind that if you missed today’s show, you can catch the 3^rd Shift Replay airing tonight on Z-92 at 10pm. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-