Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 5-28-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with some discussion of a few things in the news and reading over an e-mail. The e-mail was from a listener named Heather. She was pissed at the guys for making fun of the guy who got hit by a van at the Anchor Inn over the weekend. She was allegedly a complete moron and couldn’t even spell the word ‘’car’’ properly. Being a guy who sucks at spelling myself, I can only offer Heather one tidbit of advice. Drop $200 on an Office package for your computer and utilize the damn spell checker. I had to and now I don’t get made fun of anymore for being a moron. You should give it a try, too.

TnT then moved on to discuss Trav’s FWIW commentary from last night that focused on Dukes leaving the Huskers and how there are more important things this state needs to worry about than a college kid who has never played a down. The guys were also sent a list of 101 fun things to do in the Omaha/Council Bluffs area as reported by the Council Bluffs paper. They actually took the time to read the first 50 things on the list, seemingly to illustrate exactly how utterly idiotic and ridiculous the list was. Believe it or not, there were actually things within the first 50 like visiting green houses, nursing homes, and playgrounds. It was so horrible, I heard the collective heaving sounds of the city of Omaha as TnT went through the list.

BW came in with the newscast a bit later in the show. The gang spent some time discussing stolen purses at the new Mid America Center during a bunch of Council Bluffs graduations. That led to a conversation about exactly what a GED can get you these days. The guys moved on to discuss the new crazy digital drivers licenses that are causing heads to melt down all over western Nebraska. TnT moved on to talk about motorcycle helmet laws, strange and obscure laws in NYC, God’s cell phone number, and the gang had a lengthy discussion about garage sales, which they just don’t get.

Todd and Tyler spoke to Boomer Esiason today. He’s coming to town for the annual Nebraska Golf Classic this weekend, information available at 2006 Nebraska Golf Classic - Benefiting Cystic Fibrosis. The guys discussed the tournament that starts on Monday and the banquet that will be taking place on Sunday evening. They then moved on to discuss the celebrities that will be appearing while Boomer offered insight on each celeb’s golfing skills. Boomer then spent some time talking with TnT about the CBS pre-game show he’s on and reported that everyone will be coming back for the next season. They plan to keep the show outside even though it does get rather cold and windy on some winter days.

The gang then talked about all of the different jobs Boomer has in the media, which spawned a tangent about how the comments Andy Rooney made about women reporting on sports actually took place on Boomer’s TV show, although the comments have seldom been credited to it. Boomer also talked with TnT about his time with the Bangles, tossed in quite a few jabs at Dion Sanders, and he informed TnT that Dave Rimington can’t swing a golf club because he can’t straighten his arms and Dave has to sit down to pee. It was an excellent interview with Boomer that I’m sure you’ll be able to hear again on an upcoming ‘’Best Of’’ program. And remember, for information about the golf tournament, visit 2006 Nebraska Golf Classic - Benefiting Cystic Fibrosis.

Travis stopped in a bit later in the show and read over his FWIW commentary from last night’s 10pm KM3 newscast. He focused on how Dukes left the Huskers before playing a down and how all of the media hype around him was ridiculous. Trav then went through his sports report, which spawned a variety of sports-related tangents. Check Trav out on KM3 tonight at 10pm for his FWIW commentary that he will feature

Following the sports report, Todd and Tyler mentioned an article in the Rolling Stone magazine that featured a guy with a 13 1/2 inch boner, with a forearm-like girth. He doesn’t want to go into porn but he’ll let guys nibble on his throck for $1000. He can also suck himself but according to the article, he hasn’t done it since he was 18. The freak can also penetrate his own anus. After pondering the possibilities of having a monster hog like the man in the article, TnT opened up the phone lines and asked for female listeners to check in with stories of guys they’ve been with that have had huge hogs. One lady, the former phone sex operator that calls TnT all the time, said she had a 1 night stand with a guy with a foot-long hog, but she didn’t gobble it. Another said she had a 10 incher. After her call, the guys speculated that long-legged women have deep pies.

Sean Gnandt from the Funny Bone joined TnT in studio just in time to talk about the guy with the 13 ½ inch penis. TnT whipped out the big purple double dong for a measurement and someone may or may not have attempted to engulf and or lick the double dong. The gang then got into a discussion about whether or not it’s gay to stick your own finger up your butt and whether or not masturbation makes you gay. ‘’Anything you can do to yourself isn’t gay’’ said Todd.

BW returned later in the show with today’s e-news segment. The gang discussed the ease of writing pop music songs and Puff Daddy humping on others while banging J. Lo. BW then read over a quiz given to him by Lester. The quiz featured strange questions such as ‘’What sport do the players nor spectators know the score until the end?’’ and ‘’What are the only two vegetables that can live on their own without being replanted?’’ Also during the e-news, TnT brought in various female staff members to discuss the penis sizes of the men they’ve slept with. I didn’t catch any of their names, but one said she took an 8-incher before. BW then wrapped up the e-news with a heartwarming story about a guy getting crushed to death by a boulder outside of Salt Lake City.

Well, that does it for the Wednesday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for the Thursday edition. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-