Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 6-6-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with some talk about the jailing of Dr. John. It appears that he is going to be serving a 9-month sentence for selling a couple of regular porn movies forever ago, with the possibility of an early release for good behavior in early December. To prove a point, Todd and Tyler phoned the Dr. John’s store to see if they were still open for business. They reached a 23-year-old lady named Jennifer that confirmed Dr. John’s is still in business and yes, they still have porno movies, dildos, and butt plugs. The guys then mentioned, once again, how ironic it is that the prosecutor responsible for Dr. John’s arrest, Marty Convoy, has a sister-in-law that has her own adult Internet site located at http://www.mariasfantasyland.com. TnT then mentioned that Trav’s FWIW last night sided with Dr. John, holding off on the details until Attaboy arrived later.

Also early in the show, TnT were joined by their buddy Black Tony. He weighted in on the Dr. John’s story as well as a few other early morning topics. From there, TnT took a follow-up call from a listener named Trinity, an English woman that phoned the guys months back on the morning she found her man in bed with another woman when she returned from a business trip a bit early. She was the one who referred to the other woman as ‘’a tart’’, which TnT just loved. She gave the guys an update on her life, stating that she just arrived back in town today and that the man from the original story is still history and from what she knows, no longer with ‘’the tart.’’ She promised to keep in contact, which pleased TnT greatly, as they dig her accent.

BW joined the guys with this morning’s news report. There was further talk about the Dr. John’s story so Todd and Tyler called Jennifer back at the store. When they asked if the store was still selling porn, she hilariously said ‘’No. We’ve just switched to bibles and rosary beads.’’ Realizing how cool Jennifer was, they continued their talk with her by asking about how she likes her job and getting descriptions of some of the strange people she’s been hit on by since taking her overnight porn shop job. Jennifer also mentioned that she’s dating a black guy who happens to be a Mormon and his family doesn’t dig the fact that their son is hooked up with a rubber penis peddler. She went on to say that her mother, at first, didn’t like the idea of her working at the adult store but now her mother actually gives her lists of things to by for her mom’s work friends in order for them to take advantage of her employee discount. Several times throughout the remainder of the show, TnT phoned Jennifer back to continue their discussion. I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ll hear of her so stick around for more chat with Jennifer.

Also during the news, the gang spent some time talking about an anhydrous ammonia spill, which led to calls from crank heads, the gang discussed tips for avoiding SIDS, and there was some talk about Senator Ben Nelson’s facial sweat glands, which recently had to be operated on. Brian also reported on an interesting story about a Florida man that had kept two separate wives/families just 20 miles apart until the suspicious death of his first wife, when all hell broke loose. TnT have heard countless stories about businessmen keeping wives in different towns by they were quite impressed that the millionaire old guy in this particular story had the balls to do such a thing within 20 miles of each other.

After the news, Todd and Tyler called Chad Anderson of Tim O’Neill Chevrolet to discuss his big weekend promotion. Chad’s up on the roof of the dealership until Saturday at midnight attempting to sell 66 cars in 66 hours. TnT asked him where he poops, to which Chad referred to strategically placed rain pipes. Chad also dropped a couple of vicious mom cards on BW before diving back into his promotional mode and mentioning this weekend’s ‘’In the muck to win a truck’’ give-away that will culminate on Sunday. He’s giving away a new S-10 pickup truck and a jet ski. Stop on out to Tim O’Neill Chevy in Council Bluffs any time this weekend and buy yourself a car so Todd and Tyler can keep driving theirs for free! We need the dudes!

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning and spent some time talking with TnT about the country music ‘’Fan Fair’’ he’s attending in Nashville. He described the crowd as being rather fat and neck-like, which didn’t surprise anyone, but said he’s having a blast meeting the people. Larry then went into a commentary about how Eric Rudolph, the alleged Olympic Park bomber, was found dumpster diving at a Wal-Mart somewhere in the Carolinas. The gist of the commentary is that the guy’s not that good of a survivalist if he’s dumpster diving. Perhaps he hasn’t been hiding out in the woods for 4 years, he just lost track of time while camping. It was funny as hell. We’ll here more from Larry next week so stay tuned.

Travis joined TnT in studio this morning and delivered his commentary on Dr. John. He took the same side as Todd and Tyler, stating that what is obscene to one person may not be to anther and therefore the community obscenity law is rather worthless. The conversation continued for a bit before Trav dove into the morning’s sporting news.

Dave Attell from Comedy Central’s ‘’Insomniac’’ joined Todd and Tyler in studio this morning and spent the remainder of the show hanging out with the guys. Dave’s in town performing at the fabulous Funny Bone all weekend, with sold-out shows taking place on both Friday and Saturday night. As of 10am, there were seats available for a recently added Friday 5:30pm show but by now, they may be gone. Call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 to check.

Dave, who turned out to be incredibly cool (which TnT were thankful for) talked at length about how he got the show on Comedy Central as well as sharing some stories about the various cities he’s filmed in. The concept of the show was his own and Comedy Central liked the idea so ‘’Insomniac’’ was born. He discussed some of the freakish people he saw while in Portland, which included a guy with a swastika tattooed on his penis, and said that everyone there had metal all over their faces. He went on to talk about his time in Vegas during a porn convention and contrary to what it appeared like on TV, he didn’t get to bang the hot redheaded porn star that appeared to be eyeing him. He went on to share a few more stories about the other pro-humpers he met, too.

Todd and Tyler opened up their phone lines and let the listeners check in with compliments and questions for Dave Attell. Someone asked if having the cameras there ever blows his snake, which he said it does. There were other interesting questions, which prompted a variety of stories, too. It seemed to me that Dave actually liked being on the show, which TnT picked up on as well. All too often, a famous comedian or actor will come in studio and turn out to be a complete ass. Happily, just like Lewis Black and Bobcat, Dave Attell turned out to be an awesome interview and an all around cool guy. If you miss him at the Funny Bone this weekend, 493-8036, check him out weekly on Comedy Central’s ‘’Insomniac’’ show. It’s awesome.

BW returned later in the show with today’s e-news segment. He read a story about how kids everywhere are flushing their pet fish down the toilet after seeing the new animated movie, ‘’Finding Nimo’’, the guys discussed dipping one’s throck in a mayo jar at the comedy condo, there was a tale of panties stuck to the ceiling, too, and the gang had a conversation about how worthless the Anna Nicole Smith show is. BW then dove into the ‘’Who the hell is that?’’ segment, the gang discussed crappy country music songs, and Brian wrapped up the e-news and today’s Todd and Tyler show with a heartwarming story about an Asian man that was eaten by a family of pigs he had raised.

Well, that does it for the Friday update. Make sure to head on out to Tim O’Neill Chevy this weekend for the ‘’In the muck to win a truck’’ contest with Todd and Tyler and check out Dave Attell at the Funny Bone if there are any seats left. Keep in mind that the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show will re-air on Sunday night at 10pm and Todd and Tyler will return for another stellar week of radio programming on Monday morning at 5:30am. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-