Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Tuesday 6-10-03

Todd and Tyler began their show this morning with some talk about last night’s TV. Tyler checked out the stuntman awards, detailing the gruesome bridge-to-head death of the stuntman awarded with top honors. ‘’For Love or Money’’ was also discussed, as the world has found out that the bachelor on the show was once busted for getting hammered and playing grab-the-boob with another cadet while he was in the military. That led the guys to talk about a variety of other indiscretions that have come out about many of the other people who have appeared on the slew of reality TV shows in recent years. TnT also talked of Trav’s FWIW commentary last night in which he said he actually liked the first 50 pages of Hilary’s new book. They moved on to give Trav a hard time for agreeing to host yet another ‘’Curl Bars for Catholics’’ meeting to raise money for weight training coaches towards the end of the month.

BW came in with the news a bit later in the show. After reading over several disturbing death, destruction, and gunshot to the head stories, the gang spent some time talking about a story of a ‘’mildly retarded’’ sex offender in Glenwood. The guys wondered what constitutes ‘’mild retardation’’ and wondered that if the morning after a night of drinking, they could be considered mildly retarded. Each went on to share a tale or two about post-drunkenness things they’ve done while feeling mildly retarded. These tales included the famous Tyler attempting to piss on a heater at the casino story and a new one from Jeremy that just occurred this morning; he tried to pull his alarm clock out of the wall.

Somehow that discussion led into a tangent about an old scary movie from the 80’s where a phone call about whether or not someone’s kids are alright is ‘’coming from inside the house!!!!’’ Tyler went into the best Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation I’ve ever heard, repeating the ‘’It’s coming from inside the house!!!’’ line over and over. It was hilarious. Tyler then shared a story about the baby monitoring video system he has set up in his home and the gang got off on yet another tangent about various ways for Tyler to freak the total s-bomb out of Becky by fooling with the camera to make it appear as though the baby was gone.

After exploring many ways of scaring Becky, the guys wondered whether or not it is still possible to make your phone ring from inside your own house, prompted by another Tyler Schwarzenegger moment. The gang recalled a variety of methods that used to work back in the 70’s but they weren’t sure if they still worked. Listeners checked in with input and alternate methods and from the sounds of it, you still can make your own phone ring.

The news continued with a story about drug dealers being asked to anonymously purchase drug stamps from the government in order for the government to be able to collect some form of taxes on the illegal substances. The story was really weird so the guys spent some time trying to figure out why the drug stamps on illegal drugs even exist and whether or not anyone has actually bought one before. They then took a few phone calls from listeners with input. Following the drug stamp talk, the gang discussed an alleged weapons cache being found at Baby Dolls, the guys covered the trip to Japan that the mayor and governor are on, there was some talk of the anthrax lake being investigated near DC, and Brian detailed a story about a crazy Sizzler waiter. To wrap up the news, BW shared a heartwarming tale about a 5-year-old child who was swept away when it’s foot got caught in a rope attached to a hot air balloon.

Trav joined the guys a bit later in the show. He pointed out that he’s just not raising money for catholic schools during the upcoming ‘’Curl Bars for Catholics’’ fundraiser, but TnT didn’t seem convinced. Trav then did his FWIW about how he liked the first 50 pages of Hilary’s book. TnT were shocked that Republican Trav had the balls to admit that he liked (D) Hilary as a person. They speculated on the feedback that he’ll receive, which will air tonight during the 10pm KM3 newscast. They also talked a bit about all of the Dr. Johns feedback Trav showed last night where nearly all of the women said Dr. John didn’t do anything wrong.

Travis then moved on to the morning’s sporting news. There was plenty of college baseball talk, as the CWS is just a few days away. Dr. Ed phoned Todd and Tyler during the sports and talked to them in detail about how his Rice Owls are now on the road to Omaha. He mentioned that he’s driving the whole family up from Texas to see next week’s games and said that he will try to stop in next Wednesday for another in-person edition of Dr. Ed Wednesday.

BW returned later in the show with the e-news. The gang discussed how one of the hunks on CBS’s ‘’JAG’’ offed himself, there was some talk of yet another Tom Green TV show on MTV coming out soon, the gang covered Letterman’s vacation, and there was some talk about the ‘’Survivor’’ lady that will be appearing in the August Playboy. Todd and Tyler then brought in their buddy Bubba, who shared details about a concert he attended last year featuring bands like The Grateful Dead, Widespread Panic, and Phish. 13 hours on the interstate in stop-and-go traffic just to get inside made the experience worthless but on top of that, the airy-armed, stinky women and overflowing toilets further ruined the trip. Well, the promoters of last year’s concert are doing it all over again. When TnT asked Bubba whether or not he’d be going this year, he replied with ‘’Not even if Jesus was the opening act!’’ It was hilarious.

Bill Engvall of the Blue Collar comedy tour joined TnT on the phone today. He’s going to be performing at the Ameri-Sports bar on June 26^th and checked in to talk with his old buddies, Todd and Tyler. The guys asked Bill to fill them in on the details about why the Blue Collar Tour movie went straight to DVD, something they’ve been trying to get out of Larry the Cable Guy forever. And unlike Larry, Bill actually had some details and gave his opinions on the subject. Basically, the movie just didn’t have the backing it needed form the studio and no one really wants to see a cleaned-up redneck comedy movie.

Bill then talked with Todd and Tyler about some of the projects he’s working on, which include a short film he’s written and starred in that he’ll be entering into short film festivals. Bill has also written an Ernest-like movie, which will star Cable Guy and himself. And while on the subject of Larry the Cable Guy, Engvall shared some stories about being out on the road with him during the Blue Collar tour, stories that made Larry come across like a puss. They were great! Before getting back to his beach house in California, Bill shared with TnT the story about the time he rode a floor buffer at a redneck club while hammered here in Omaha once and then told them another story about how a puddle jumper plane he was about to take off in actually hit a deer crossing the runway.

To wrap up the show, BW continued with the e-news by reading over a list of jobs and silly job-related pun-like reasons one would quit such a job. For example, Brian stated that he used to work in a deli but had to quit because he couldn’t cut the mustard. After one or two, TnT started guessing the reasons BW quit the various occupations he claimed to have had, which made the list only slightly more amusing. After a few more, TnT put an end to BW’s list and wrapped up their show.

Well, that does it for the Tuesday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for the Wednesday edition. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-