Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 6-11-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by talking about some computer problems they were having in the studio. Something blew up on them so they spent the remainder of the show playing random sound effects whenever they happened to pop up. And while on the subject of computer problems, Tyler shared a story about his trip to the DMV yesterday. A computer error reported that he was required to pay just $53 to license a vehicle he’s recently leased. Knowing full well that the state of Nebraska wouldn’t charge $53 unless he was driving a ’67 Rambler, Tyler pointed out the misquote. The lady at the DMV said there was a computer problem and asked him to come back later, which he did to the tune of $540; now that’s more like it!

Also early in the show, the guys talked a little about Trav’s FWIW last night. Tyler didn’t actually watch it because when he heard what the subject was going to be, he went into bored-out-of-my-head mode, flipped the TV off, and went to sleep. Todd, on the other hand, stuck around long enough to catch the 50-50 Hilary feedback. Following that, the guys read over an e-mail from a listener upset with BW for allegedly dropping the f-bomb on the air the other day. It was rather silly because, after listening to the clip over and over, it was pretty clear that Brian didn’t actually swear on the air.

Another topic of interest early in today’s program was Dr. John. The guys got a report that he wants to call the show but doesn’t know their hotline number. The report also stated that Dr. John is bored out of his shiny head and wants anyone to write him. The guys gave his address out over the air so if anyone wants it, here it is:

John Halton

2157924 Douglas County Corrections

710 S. 17^th St

Omaha, NE 68102

BW came in with the news a bit later in the show. Before he dove into it, the guys called Tyler’s dad to get the lowdown on a story involving Tyler’s buddy, Jack. Evidentially, Jack likes to put it in the pooper during the act of love making, something well known in Tyler’s circle of friends. Well, Tyler’s dad happened to catch part of a conversation that the guys thought was interesting so they called Ed Utah for the details. Tyler’s friend Jack, a Cubs fan, has bet his girlfriend of several years, an Orioles fan, that if the Cubs win their series against her Orioles, he gets to put it in her bum. To hear Ed describe it, it was hilarious. Ed asked Tyler something to the effect of, ‘’What’s Jack’s preoccupation with putting it up the rear anyway?’’ I laughed so hard that all of Ed’s money fell out of his pants. The gang later pondered whether or not a ‘’butt orgasm’’ is possible, receiving only one call from a male listener that claimed his woman has had one before.

During the actual news, the gang spent some time talking about the new city council president and how he looks like ‘’Woody’’ from the ‘’Toy Story’’ movies. They then discussed how the son of the Lincoln fire chief was busted for allegedly stealing computers from a local high school. Following that, the guys spent some time talking about the possible closing of Peru State College, taking calls on the subject. There was also a story about how water is bad for you now and a report of a car/buggy accident with an Iowan Amish man, which led to the creation of a new television show by Todd and Tyler Productions called, ‘’A Mongoloid, A Miller, and A Dwarf’’. BW then wrapped up the news segment with a heartwarming story about a 7-year-old child locked in the closet for months by his parents and a story about a baby born with four eyes, two noses, and two mouths.

Todd and Tyler spoke to Erin Moriarty of CBS’s ‘’48 Hours’’ this morning. She’s doing a story tonight about rich, Hollywood kids, how they got to be rich, and how it has affected them. She is featuring the Olsen Twins, Malcolm from ‘’Malcolm in the Middle’’, and a variety of other rich children. The guys seemed to focus most of their discussion on the Olsen Twins, which Erin said they kept touching each other throughout the interview. Their company, which is run by her level-headed (or so it seems), made over 975 million dollars last year alone! The stories Erin shared with TnT today will be covered by ‘’48 Hours’’ tonight on KM3 at 9pm. Tune in, it should be quite interesting.

Trav came in with the sports report a bit later in the show. Along with sports, he talked with TnT about what it might be like to be so rich as a kid. The guys then had a conversation about winning the lottery and everyone agreed that if any of them ever win it, they’ll give the others enough cash to retire on. Lets hope none of them forget their devoted web guy, shall we?

With recent talk about Nebraska being home to the top 3 poorest counties in the United States, Todd and Tyler thought it might be fun to call one of them and see how people live. Loop County, currently in the #1 slot, has an average annual income of less than $9,000 for each resident. The guys somehow got their hands on the phone number for the Cattle Ranch Bar in Taylor, NE, one of two towns located in the 40 square mile Loop County just 4 hours away from Omaha. They phoned and got in touch with a 14-year-old waitress and after finding out her age, the guys politely asked to speak with her mother, Sheila the cook/owner. She was very cool and talked at length about what it was like living in the small town of Taylor and the poorest county in the country. She explained how a house, in livable condition, just sold for $15,000 and said that nearly everyone in the county has a job in the cattle ranch industry, seemingly agreeing with Todd and Tyler’s guess that there is one rich, greedy land baron that everyone is employed by.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning and delivered a commentary on how there will never be peace in the Middle East. TnT then told Larry that Bill Engvall called him a girl, stating that he wears female shirts and can’t hold his liquor. To dispute the slam, Larry said recently drank 14 shots of whisky while Engvall was only able to down 4 and had to go home to make his 10:30pm bedtime. TnT also informed Larry about how the local Best Buy has placed the price tag for all of the Blue Collar Tour movies right over Larry’s face, which he seemed slightly put off by. We’ll here from Larry again as the week progresses so stay tuned.

BW returned later in the show with today’s e-news segment. He reported the first ‘’2 Fast, 2 Furious’’ related death, which spawned a discussion about movies TnT have seen and acted out shortly after. Tyler admitted to running on the beach the day after he saw Rocky do it in ‘’III’’. Also during the e-news, Tyler farted something fierce and nearly killed BW. From there, the guys discussed the independent/underground music scene in Omaha, a topic spawned by a story about a local band, Bright Eyes, and their scheduled appearance on Letterman tonight. After pointing out that they’ve never heard of many of the ‘’Saddle Creek’’ bands that are supposedly so huge in the area, they stated that they like new music and would be willing to check some of it out if any of the bands felt like sending them a CD and getting themselves some publicity. The guys then took phone calls from Bright Eyes fans and fans of other ‘’Saddle Creek’’ musicians that wanted to discuss the indi rock scene here in town.

Following the e-news, the guys spent some time discussing results of a recent poll that was just full of strange statistics. For example, one stat stated that 21% of people don’t make their bed on a daily basis. Another said that 40% of women had thrown footwear at their men. Yet anther claimed that 85% of men don’t use the slit provided in their underwear when they pee. There was also a lengthy discussion about the proper way to fold your bills (assuming you have some, unlike myself) in your wallet/money clip. In one of the more disturbing stats mentioned, it was pointed out that 50% of men wipe their asses while sitting while the other 50% stand. TnT backed up that statistic by asking who does what in the studio. Jeremy and Tyler were the only freaks who stand to wipe their asses, while BW and Todd are on the side of the normal, less freakish sitting wipers.

Believe it or not, the ass wiping discussion prompted phone calls from listeners, which TnT surveyed. The majority fell into the sitting wiper category, which should come as no surprise to those of us who’ve been wiping our asses the proper way all along. The gang then discussed whether or not old time people actually used corncobs to wipe their asses. Figuring that would be a good question for his mom, Todd gave her a call and left her the question on her answering machine. The guys then called Tyler’s dad again to find out what he wiped his ass with when he recently took a much-required crap along the trials at lake Zorinski. After 6 consecutive misdials, Todd gave up, blaming the misdials on his account code.

Tomorrow Todd and Tyler are going to announce the details of the 2003 Z Bash, including the date, location, and all of the bands that will be appearing. Tune in tomorrow from 5:30am to, well, most likely 10:45am for the Thursday show and make sure to check out the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show as it airs tonight at 10pm. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-