Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 6-13-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with a little reaction to yesterday’s Z-Bash announcement, following that up by reading over a list of things that are and are not allowed inside the venue. TnT then welcomed Black Tony to the studio and suggested that he should dress up in a rebel flag T-shirt and a Larry the Cable Guy hat for the Z-Bash. The guys then discussed a recent list of the top 100 songs of all time. They read over some of the songs and for the most part, seemed to disagree with the list completely, referring to the list as a complete ‘’piece of crap’’. The gang then discussed Fathers Day plans. Black Tony said he’s taking his son to see ‘’The Hulk’’, which led the guys into another rant about how they’d prefer not to see a computerized Hulk but an actual actor.

With Z-Bash tickets going on sale today, Pussy, Peach, Jessica, and Lester were out at various Burger King locations from 7 to 9am this morning selling tickets and giving away Z-Bash 2003 T-shirts. Throughout the show, Todd and Tyler checked in with each one of them to get progress reports on ticket sales. TnT gave them each a Burger King related nickname for the morning, the funnies being ‘’Pussy sandwich’’. Keep in mind that you can buy your Z-Bash tickets at local area Burger King locations all summer long for just $25.

BW came in with the news a bit later in the show. During the early part of the newscast, Tyler said ‘’The lord and up the ass is what you learn in prison’’ and I have absolutely no idea why he said it or what the guys were talking about. It was funny, though, because I wrote it down in my show notes for the update. Later, the guys discussed ‘70s afros with Black Tony, a subject spawned after mention of a phone interview with Billy Simms that was to occur later in the show.

Also during the news, the guys analyzed the definition of ‘’sexual touching’’ after a story about the strip club Baby Dolls, TnT found it amusing that the two Red Robin guys are going to be tried together instead of separately, TnT referred to the vandals that recently damaged the Audubon Society as ‘’assholes’’, and the guys talked about the new Council Bluffs theme park that has recently been named ‘’Wild Escape’’.

As the news continued, the guys spent some time discussing tongue stud Diekmans, bringing Jeremy into the studio to describe the sensation; he being the only member of the show to have received such loving from a tongue studded lady. TnT speculated on ways to simulate the feeling, referring to masturbating with a fistful of ball bearings. It was during this subject that BW proclaimed that he once masturbated with a handful of jacks. On a related note, sort of, the guys wrapped up the newscast with some talk about sperm donations by smart guys.

Travis stopped in a bit later in the show and talked with TnT about his FWIW commentary last night. He and his wife just celebrated their 10-year wedding anniversary so last night’s commentary was all about marriage. Trav said that he took his wife out to dinner to celebrate and later she showed him her new gutter caulk. When TnT asked, Travis said he didn’t reciprocate the gesture because the under-the-table pooper crawled into bed with them. He then did sports, which included plenty of talk about the start of the CWS.

Todd and Tyler spoke to Heisman winner Billy Simms this morning. He played for Oklahoma back in the late ‘70s and followed that up with some time in the NFL with the Detroit Lions. He’s coming to town to sign autographs at Oakview Mall today from 6-9pm and tomorrow from noon to 9pm. Billy spent some time talking with TnT about his days at Oklahoma, remembering a fumble against the Huskers in Lincoln in ’78 that handed the Huskers a victory. He went on to talk about the rivalry between Oklahoma and Nebraska, discussed his time with the Lions briefly, and told TnT about some businesses he’s involved with now in Detroit and his hometown of Dallas. At one point, during talk about a ‘’manufactured home’’ business he’s involved in, Billy said something to the effect of ‘’call them what you want, they’re still trailers.’’ TnT got a kick out of that.

As the interview progressed, TnT discussed Billy’s gigantic afro back in the day before moving on to talk about his college-aged kids. Even though he’s got sons and daughters in college, none of them seemed to have an interest in playing football. In fact, he’s got kids on baseball and basketball teams instead. It was a very cool interview with Billy Simms this morning. Remember, you can catch him at the Oakview mall tonight and tomorrow.

TnT’s lawyer buddy Matt Higgins stopped in studio this morning. With him he brought a kegel muscle exercise machine that his girlfriend brought home from her job at a local pharmacy. TnT played around with the four spring apparatus and discussed how they thought the thing would work. Judging it by its looks, the guys referred to the thing as a ‘’vag horn’’ (like a shoe horn). The gang then called Matt’s girlfriend, Susan to get a female’s perspective on the kegel muscle exercise machine. She recommends doing 3 sets of 30 reps and suggested that you have a spotter while using it. Matt took off a bit later, taking his kegel exerciser with him, which bummed TnT out.

Larry the Cable Guy phoned TnT with a commentary on monkey pox. At one point, he referred to the cause of monkey pox being ‘’somebody humping a critter’’. Larry will check in again next week so stay tuned.

The Hadden Sayers band joined TnT in studio this morning and played a couple of tunes for the guys. Due to the fact that they didn’t have a drum kit, their drummer actually played a freak’n pizza box during the two songs they did for TnT! The guys spent some time talking with the band about their style and then mentioned that they’ll be playing at the Zoo Bar in Lincoln tonight at 5pm. You can get their CD at Homers; look for ‘’Supersonic’’.

From the Funny Bone, Brian Kaufman and Josh Sneed came in today and hung out with TnT for a while. Brian is a magician so he spent some time talking with TnT about that. Later, Josh ranted about how much he dislikes Pauly Shore, which was hilarious. The two comedians hung out and joined in on the e-news, seemingly enjoying themselves. You can catch both of them at the Funny Bone all weekend by phoning 493-8036. By the way, today is Colleen’s birthday and she doesn’t look a day over 19, that hot little piece of comedy-club-running ass! Happy birthday Colleen!

Brian returned with this morning’s e-news towards the end of the program. The gang spent some more time complaining about the computerized Hulk in the upcoming movie. Somehow, mention of the Hulk prompted countless comic book geeks to phone the show and toss their Marvel/DC/whack-whack thoughts into the mix. The show’s geek alert went into overdrive. There were other e-news stories including talk about Rudy on horseback, Emenem’s crack head ex-girlfriend, and Spike Lee suing Spike TV but my notes drifted towards the bottom of the page. I can only assume I had an aneurysm due to the comic book geeks’ phone calls.

Well, that does it for the Friday update. Tune in on Sunday evening at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin the guys on Monday at 5:30am as they kick off yet another week of stellar radio programming. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-