Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 7-7-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with some talk about the long 3-day weekend. TnT hosted a party at the Anchor Inn on Thursday evening and from all accounts, it was a great party. The watermelons were flowing rather nicely and the guys described ‘’speaking watermelon’’, a phenomenon that occurs after consuming a few of the pink drinks that drastically affects not only one’s memory, but also one’s ability to speak English. They then mentioned that they saw speed dater Paula there. She was rather hammered and at one point she was seen puking her guts out. Her friend accosted Tyler and blamed him for Paula’s intoxication, which no one understood. Peach may or may not have got a photo of Paula’s friend angrily flipping him the bird as he attempted to take a photo of the vomit spewage.

The guys then moved on to discuss their participation in Friday’s Ralston parade. This year, the guys were plagued by an asshole that pelted them with water balloons. At one point, the guy popped Tyler’s buddy Mick in the face, causing some nose damage as his sunglasses were pushed into his flesh. Later, a 1-year-old kid was nearly killed with a flying balloon of doom. In an attempt at retaliation, Tyler fired a balloon at the assailant but it went astray and ended up hitting a 7-year-old boy in the face. Later in the show, TnT phoned the boy, Dillon, and apologized for the mishap.

As talk of the Ralston parade continued, the guys pointed out that they had a good time again this year with the exception of the water balloon asshole and the ‘’5 Mexicans with water cannons towards the end of the parade’’ that also doused the Z gang with water. TnT then described the countless beers the Ralston residents gave them as they traveled along the parade route. They also expressed their great pleasure with the Omaha Beef cheerleaders, who accompanied them as they moved through the town. At one point in the show today, the guys mentioned that they want some sort of armored car for next year’s parade, if they indeed participate, in order to protect them from the dreaded threat of H2O skud attacks.

TnT then moved on and spent some time discussing the wicked weather that snuck into town on Saturday night. They heard reports of some serious damage at the Anchor Inn as the winds tore open the roof, blew off the bar tents, and sent some of the Label’s equipment into the drink. One woman was even hospitalized when a wind-propelled stick impaled itself into her head. On a related note, the guys discussed how they saw one of Channel 6’s news anchors taking one-sided phone calls about the storm during a special report. They commented on how ridiculous it was and wondered why Channel 6 doesn’t have the capability to air the other end of a phone call.

Also early in the show, the gang read over a hate e-mail from a listener that is pissed at TnT for a brief comment they made late in last Thursday’s show. TnT had received a call from the bartender in Logan that allegedly flashed them her cans. There were charges filed on her and she had to pay a fine. Anyway, she called in Thursday and talked with TnT briefly, which prompted the guys to make a quick remark about a Logan police officer that was recently in the news for shooting a woman armed with a butter knife somewhere in Missouri Valley. Well, the e-mailer didn’t like the comment and wanted to bitch. After reading the e-mail, TnT moved on and spent some time talking about Tyler’s 4^th of July party which featured Jeremy and Todd on firework duty and Tyler’s friend Mick ingesting 12 pieces of Lester St. James’ birthday cake, which caused Mick to dump out a few blue logs of poop the following morning.

BW came in a bit later in the show and was welcomed by a funny phony road rage e-mail that a listener named Peter sent to TnT. Peter said he and BW shared a road rage incident that ended up with the two of them making passionate love in a ditch off the side of a road. The guys then took a call from a listener that pointed them in the direction of a Lincoln Journal Star article about another pit bull attack. This one was amazing. After finding the article on-line, the gang read over the story. It involved a male pit bull named ‘’Dirty’’ and his two bitches, ‘’Precious’’ and ‘’Angel’’ as well as the 15-year-old daughter of the dog’s owner. The daughter was bit by Dirty after Dirty somehow got the taste of blood. She had to climb out of her house through a window with the help of a neighbor and everyone involved in the story still had the nerve to claim that Dirty was not a bad dog. The family, unsuccessfully wanting to resolve the situation within their family and leave the authorities out of it, may end up sending Dirty to live in Texas with a relative to avoid it’s inevitable death sentence.

Brian later delivered the morning’s news reports which included discussion of a power outage that has effected mid-town since Saturday night’s storm, a North Platte woman busted for leaving her child in a hot car in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and talk about the recent rash of television towers crashing to the ground in this state, obviously having something to do with the change-over to HDTV. The guys then spent some time talking about Power Ball, whether or not ‘’outside tit’’ is a felony, and a woman who dropped her twins off of a Minnesota bridge (one survived, one’s missing).

The news moved on with a discussion about a Denver area cat serial killer that has murdered and dissected close to 50 of the furry creatures within the last year. The guys spent some time talking about the conjoined Iranian twin girls who are stuck at the head but are currently undergoing surgery to separate them. Following that, BW wrapped up the newscast with a heartwarming story about a teenage girl that was struck in the face by lightning when the bolt decided that her tongue stud would be a great place to connect.

Trav came in a bit later in the show and spent some time talking with TnT about his weekend. After discussing doing the family thing over the holiday, he moved on to talk about how Saturday’s storm sent a tree limb through the window of his van. That led to a discussion about the tree carnage scattered all over town. TnT then reset their earlier story about Dirty the Lincoln pit bull. Following Trav sharing his input on that epic story, he moved on to discuss the morning’s sporting news. There was a little tennis talk, some talk about the upcoming football season, and the gang spent quite a bit of time talking about the Coby Bryant story, which consists of him getting arrested for sexual assault somewhere in Colorado while visiting a health spa.

BW returned a bit later in the show with today’s e-news. The gang spent some time talking about the annual running of the bulls bit in Spain, they talked about the new Terminator movie, and there was some talk about some more celebrity deaths that took place over the weekend. Barry White and Buddy Epson both died, which led to TnT playing Barry White as bumper music all morning long, tossing in the occasional ‘’What you cook’n for vittles, Granny?’’ for good measure. Following a little Pete Best talk, the guys discussed today’s list of celebrity birthdays, the gang talked about BW’s obscure dead guy of the day (the star of ‘’The Gods Must Be Crazy’’), BW did a little current events trivia, and he wrapped up the e-news segment and this morning’s show with a story about a Tai man that was killed when he peed too close to a power pole and somehow a mix of his urine and the fact that he had a metal prosthetic leg caused him to be electrocuted. Speculation about whether or not the man’s nuts were blown off is still open for debate, though.

Well, that does it for the Monday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for the Tuesday show. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-