Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Dave

Friday 9-5-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by welcoming Black Tony and regular caller Child Prodigy to the studio. Child Prodigy stopped by to discuss an alleged fake betting pool centering on the NFL, which TnT allegedly each dropped $50 of phony money into. Actually, Todd only had $37 fake dollars to put into the pool so Tyler had to cover him. Anyway, the gang spent some time discussing the details of the pool, which has each person picking one straight-out winner for each week of the NFL season. Provided your team doesn’t lose, you’re still in the pool until everyone but the winner has been eliminated. That winner is then allegedly awarded all of the fake money that is in the pool.

BW came in a bit later and talked with TnT about the remote he and Lester did last night at the American Dream bar as part of the motorcycle rally that’s headed from California to New York, culminating at Ground Zero on September 11^th for the 2 year anniversary of the terrorist attacks. The turnout was great, as nobody could park anywhere near 120^th and Center Street due to the large number of bikes around. BW then talked with the guys about his busted finger, which he couldn’t remember how it got that way.

Brian then delivered this morning’s newscast. The gang discussed a variety of stories including how FDR canned 190 employees yesterday. That story led to a lengthy tangent in which every member of the show detailed their own “I got fired” stories. Later, the guys discussed a report that OPS 8^th graders can’t write well, a fact that some believe has a lot to do with the increasing number of “Spaniard” students who don’t speak English. From there, the guys talked about a petition priests are working on to try to convince the Catholic Church that they should be able to get married, there was a story about the 4 millionth Zippo lighter being produced, and BW wrapped up the newscast with a heartwarming story about a twisted sexual freak that stabbed a llama during a sexual encounter.

Todd and Tyler got a surprise visit from Alan Rosenberg, star of CBS’s “The Guardian”. He and his wife Marg, the hottie from CBS’s “CSI” are in town for a celebrity golf tournament and to perform a play called “Love Letters” at the Rose Theater tonight at 9pm. Having just come from his room at the Harrah’s Casino, Alan had a lengthy conversation with Todd and Tyler about his gambling habits, poker in general, and more. The gang also discussed both his show and his wife’s show on CBS. Along with touching on his early career in show business, Alan later went on to detail how he and Marg met and fell in love. Alan was super cool this morning and really seemed to enjoy hanging out with Todd and Tyler. Keep in mind that you can catch Marg and Alan performing “Love Letters” tonight at the Rose Theater and you’ll be able to see them all week at Harrah’s and the golf course around Dodge Park (I believe) as their celebrity tournament takes place.

Jennifer, the listener that won the trip to New York City to see Poison’s “Storytellers” recording for VH1, checked in this morning and detailed her trip for Todd and Tyler. She also confirmed that she is going to speed date during the first Monday Night Football party of the season hosted by Todd and Tyler next Monday night at Brewsky’s. Jennifer will be joining the guys in studio on Monday morning to tell them about the type of guy she is looking for so make sure to tune in.

Another celebrity taking part in the golf tournament this weekend, R. Lee Ermey phoned Todd and Tyler this morning from the L.A. airport to discuss his upcoming visit to Omaha. A majority of the conversation seemed to center on his roll in “Saving Silverman”, a comedy film starring Jack Black and the kid from “American Pie” that humped the pie. At one point in the film, Ermey had to kiss Jack Black on the mouth so he felt it necessary to explain that the reason he did it was not because he is gay but because he was paid $200,000 to play the roll, which also had him pooping in a yard and using mail from a close-by mailbox as toilet paper. Ermey also talked with TnT about his roll as Leather Face’s crazy, sexually perverted, nut job brother in the upcoming “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake, due out soon. Unfortunately, R. Lee won’t be able to join the guys in studio for another session of “Lets see how many S-bombs I can drop in one segment”. Hopefully he’ll be able to stop in studio the next time he comes to town.

Auggie Smith and Sean Gnandt from the Funny Bone hung out for a bit today. They joined in on all of the topics of the morning and seemed to have a good time with the guys. At one point in the show, Sean uttered the phrase, “I’m fingering my butt hole”. As you might imagine, that sound clip was isolated and placed on Tyler’s hot button computer screen, where he repeatedly pounded the button throughout much of the remainder of the show. You can catch both Auggie and Sean performing at the Funny Bone all weekend. Call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 for reservations.

Travis came in with today’s sports report. Before diving into it, he had a lengthy conversation with the guys related to the priests that are petitioning the church for the right to get married. Surprise, Trav’s against it. The gang then moved on to a bit of FWIW talk before Travis gave not only this morning’s sports report, but also his Lock. This week Travis selected as his Lock of the Week Kansas at home getting 11 ½ from UNLV.

During the sports, Black Tony reentered the studio wearing a jock strap and from the sounds of it, had his bare ass a bit too close to Travis for his comfort. Seeing their buddy nearly in the buff, TnT commented on how skinny Tony is. Todd then got the idea to send Tony over to his gym and have his body fat tested, allowing everyone in studio to make a guess about what percentage of fat Tony’s skinny ass is made up of. (For pictures of Tony in the Todd and Tyler Thong, check out the TnT show’s front web page). After a few minutes of travel time, Tony checked in from the gym and got his body fat measured while on the phone with the gang. He reported back that his body fat was only 9.6% but TnT later found out when Tony returned to the studio that he lied to the guys and his actual body fat is 13%.

Jessica Dol joined the guys in studio this morning for a bit more talk about the Cosmo article centering on sexual triggers for men, which TnT discussed yesterday. TnT wanted Jessica to attempt some of the triggers on her kissing buddy Sean Gnandt but this morning, Jessica didn’t seem to be into it. This became quite clear when TnT mentioned that one of the triggers is the seam men have between their nads and the little knob of skin we have under the head of our penises. Although she didn’t play along, Todd and Tyler’s phone sex caller Laurie did. She checked in, talked all sexy, and set off a flurry of phone calls from women who think she’s a slut. Actually, only one called her a slut. All of the other female phone callers that checked in late in today’s show didn’t think Laurie is a slut for talking dirty on TnT’s voice mail. Instead, they all piled on the caller that initially called her a slut.

BW retuned late in today’s show with this morning’s e-news segment. The gang discussed a few newsperson related stories before Brian read another tale of a pit bull attack. This one ended with a happy ending, as a bystander strangled the pit bull to death. Brian then read over Letterman’s very first top 10 list, which was about words that somewhat rhyme with the word “peas”. Later, BW concluded the e-news with a wonderfully uplifting story about a man that froze his dead wife in his freezer for 6 years, all the while with plans to “reanimate” her when he could.

That does it for the big Friday show update. Tune in on Sunday evening at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin the guys on Monday at 5:30am as they kick off another week of stellar radio programming. Thanks for watching. Good night. Lick my ass. -Corby-

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