Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Dave

Tuesday 9-9-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with some talk about last night’s MNF party at Brewsky’s. They had a great turnout for the event and Jennifer, their speed dater, went through more than 20 guys eager to sweet talk their way into her heart. Unfortunately, it seemed to everyone, Jennifer was a bit shy and uncomfortable during the speed dating so the chances of her hooking up with one of the TnT listeners doesn’t seem high. That’s alright, though. There will be a new speed dater next week.

From there, TnT played yet another sexy voice mail left to them by a listener. Much to their amusement, though, this voice mail wasn’t left by Laurie, the former phone sex operator. Todd’s gravely voiced buddy, Charlie, left today’s message. It went along the lines of this. “First I’m gonna…(heavy breathing). Then your gonna…(more heavy breathing).” He then wrapped up the sexy phone call with about 15 seconds of the Homer Simpson drooling sound effect. Although Charlie’s message wasn’t quite as sexy as any recently left for TnT by Laurie, Charlie’s was so freak’n funny that I nearly didn’t mind the fact that I locked my keys in my car pre-6am and had to drop $38 to get them retrieved.

Also early in the show, Todd and Tyler discussed a little PBS, as they both watched pieces of a new World Trade Center special the public television network aired last night. They encouraged everyone to check it out. The gang also took an early morning call from a listener that is getting sued by a relative because he kicked his relative’s rotty in the head when the dog rushed towards the man’s 1-year-old child. Brian then joined the guys and before getting into today’s newscast, he talked with the gang about some trouble he is having collecting from his lawn mowing clients. The gang also bantered around the idea and legality of BW hiring a “Spaniard” or two to assist in his business.

During the news this morning, the gang spent some time discussing a local area mother that is suing Children’s Hospital because the hospital is going to do a surgery on her child that her religion won’t permit. A caller attempted to argue against TnT’s point of view, back peddling almost immediately, yet the guys received some hate e-mails regarding their stance throughout the remainder of the show. They moved on to discuss the name of the famous CPR dummy, how Lincoln is trying to crack down on college drinking, there was talk of the validity of Pakistani newspaper reports, and Brian informed us all that the amusement park that was supposed to get built in Council Bluffs has been halted. The gang also talked about several other news stories such as monkeys flying the next NASA shuttle to go up, Canadian pot laws, and alternative names for various drugs used by stoners when referencing said drugs over the telephone.

Tommy, the owner of Tommy O’s, stopped in this morning to help Todd and Tyler cure their post MNF hangovers. With him he brought his oxygen machine. Each member of the show got to suck on some of the oxygen, enjoying such flavors as cinnamon, margarita, and mint. Todd was disappointed that there was no “skunk” while BW didn’t seem to care what odor he smelled while huffing the O as long as it wasn’t “Tyler’s ass”, which from the sounds of it went off frequently this morning. The gang talked about other products Tommy O’s offers such as “Smartinis”, Enzyme shots, and the hair care salon end of his business.

As the passing of the oxygen continued, Tommy tried to describe the effects one might experience after getting some nearly 100% pure oxygen to the brain. He mentioned you might get a feeling of clarity but the guys weren’t sure if there was any validity to his comment. To put it to the test, Todd sucked down some oxygen and the gang asked him to dial the phone. Knowing that years of indulgence in various forms of smokery have most likely clouded Todd’s mind, they wanted to see if a sudden jolt of pure oxygen might knock some of the resin out of his synapses. Much to everyone’s amazement, Todd actually was able to dial the phone without messing it up, therefore, reaching pure Todd Clarity State. That disappeared, though, as Todd went for a smoke break shortly after his enlightenment.

James the Giant Peach joined the guys in studio this morning to talk about their Monday Night Football party last night. James is a big part of getting the whole thing set up, taking names of speed daters, and watching the clock. TnT noticed last night, though, that Peach had suddenly turned into “James the Giant Cock Blocker”, as he was badmouthing the guys Jennifer had just dated in between contestants. Peach disputed the “blocker” status bestowed on him by TnT and simply pointed out that although there are plenty of nice guys that speed date their various hotties, every now and then a total tool sits down and has nothing to say.

Travis came in later in the show with this morning’s sports report. He talked at length about the upcoming interview feed with “Jo Pa”, Penn State’s coach, which Travis seemed more interested in covering than making another boring, useless trip to Lincoln for the Husker press conference. Along with sports, Trav talked with the guys about his FWIW commentary lasts night, which from all accounts, nobody gave a crap about. The commentary was yet another Catholic-centered “Everyone must care about the Catholic Church because, darn it, I’m Catholic!” rant focusing on some bishop that quit his position at Boys Town without an explanation. Whack whack. I have no tolerance for sports at all and when I caught Trav’s commentary last night, I was begging for Cricket scores from Tajikistan. Anyway, following Trav’s report, the gang got into a lengthy conversation about parking at various college football stadiums, wondering where they’re going to park the Chub when they head down to this Saturday’s Husker game.

BW delivered the entertainment report towards the end of today’s show, all the while wearing a blonde mullet wig. The gang discussed a variety of subjects including a new “men bad” TV show called “Rhonda the Life Coach”, talk of mass music downloaders getting sued, how the makers of Slip-N-Slide are suing to get the new David Spade film taken out of theaters, and there was some interesting conversation about a former filmmaker that recorded a lot of the Nazi propaganda films. Brian also read over a very long quiz about how you can find out what type of college football fan you are. TnT seemed immediately disinterested in the quiz but they went along with it anyway. After about 15 minutes of very long possible answers, the guys shut down the quiz completely for fear of actually falling asleep on their microphones.

To bring the guys back up before the end of today’s show, Brian read a news story about a guy that put plumbing rings around his penis and scrotum. He had a bit of trouble getting them off and had to go to a doctor. Evidentially, there was some necrosis (part of his junk died). BW had photos of it, which Tyler described in their horror.

That does it for today’s update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin Todd and Tyler tomorrow at 5:30am for the Wednesday show. Dr. Ed will be joining them live from his basement in Tyler, TX. Thanks for watching. Good night. Lick my ass. -Corby-

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