Todd and Tyler Unauthorized

Dave

Wednesday 10-01-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with a little talk about last night’s baseball game on Fox. The game itself was quite slow, as seems to be the trend in baseball in recent years. TnT wondered why the game has become so slow and boring, taking a second to compare when they used to play the game to what it has become now. The only real difference they can see is the increase in equipment used. Things such as batting gloves, which players are constantly stepping out of the box to adjust, are most likely the culprit (sprinkled in with a little ego most players seem to have nowadays). The guys then spent some time trying to figure out why local people are so hung up on the Chicago Cubs, an example of which was made last night on the KM3 newscast by Deb Ward who freaked out over the Cubbies. The guys pointed to a handful of closer cities with MLB teams that Nebraskans could root for.

The guys also spent a bit of time discussing Trav’s FWIW last night. Evidentially there is a “The man is keeping me down show” on public access TV hosted by a black cop here in Omaha. While on his show, he whipped out a straight razor and said he would give it to the Rucker kids, the children of the man that shot and killed Officer Pratt, so they could “slit the neck” of a priest that made a donation to the Pratt family in the names of the Rucker children. Everyone seemed to agree that, even though the officer claimed to be using the razor as a metaphor, it was a terrible choice of words. They wondered aloud what sort of consequence the officer would face for his actions, speculating a bit here and there, and later took some calls from listeners with theories.

Trisha joined the guys in studio with this morning’s newscast. During her visit, the guy discussed the investigation into the leak about the name of a CIA agent, something that might get old Dubya in trouble. There were a few stories about neglected children, too, including one out of Florida that had a 2-year-old home alone for nearly 3 weeks while her mom went to jail. Amazingly, the kid survived by eating catsup, mustard, and raw noodles. From there, TnT moved on to talk about how the Vatican is claiming the Pope isn’t “in a bad way”, the revenue cigarettes make for Wal-Mart, the Omaha city budget problems, and there was a story about an exploding toilet in Lincoln.

Todd and Tyler were joined in studio all morning long by more potential calendar hotties, which prompted a morning-long question “How does Frank (their calendar photographer) get hot women to take off their clothes for him?” This morning Amber was the first to stop in, followed shortly by Shelly and Leslie, twins out of Plattsmouth. During their visit with TnT, the guys found out that one of the girls is dating the ex-boyfriend of her sister. TnT phoned the guy, Jason, and he seemed quite aware that he was one lucky bastard. Later in the show, Lana and Christian also swung by the station to show off their potential calendar wares. The guys continued to ponder how Frank can talk 19-year-old bombshells into stripping for photos and after much speculation, they concluded that Frank just isn’t as creepy as Todd and Tyler are.

TnT spoke to porn film legend Ron Jeremy this morning. He’s featured in an article in this month’s Playboy magazine so he spent some time talking with TnT about that. Ron said he liked the article but was disappointed in the accuracy of some of the statements. The author didn’t record their conversation, opting to jot notes with pen and paper, and for that reason, there were a few misconceptions Ron had to clear up about details appearing in the Playboy article.

After getting that all straightened up, TnT asked Ron about the story from the Playboy article about when he first realized he was hung like a snow beast. Ron said he noticed when he was 15-years-old and at camp. He bent down to tie his shoe and there was his hog. He then decided to kiss it and POW, a star was born. Ron phoned his father to ask if it is normal for a guy to be able to gobble his own knob, to which his father replied “It’s okay, just don’t tell anybody about it. And when you turn 18, the girls will kiss it for you”.

The interview continued TnT talking to Ron about the “glory days” of porn, changes in the industry since the ‘80s, Ron’s favorite stars to bang, and Todd and Tyler asked Ron (who now does some directing, too) to eliminate the close-up shot of a guy’s butt as he pounds away. Ron also talked about some of the troubles porn couples have dealing with their lovers getting railed all day, something Ron doesn’t have to worry about because he has a handful of girlfriends he plays with (none serious, it sounds). It was a very cool interview with Ron Jeremy this morning that I’m sure you’ll be hearing on a Best Of in the very near future.

Travis came in a bit later with this morning’s sports report. Along with delivering the sporting news, he spent some more time talking with Todd and Tyler about his FWIW commentary. As mentioned earlier, the commentary was about a “The man is keeping me down show” on public access TV hosted by a black cop here in Omaha and how that cop offered to give the Rucker kids a blade to slit the throat of a priest that donated money to the Pratt family in their name.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning and delivered a commentary on people who have to read the McDonald’s menu.

Todd and Tyler spoke to writer Tom Shales of the Washington Post and Tvweek.com this morning. Tom is a Pulitzer-Prize winning critic that writes on television and used to do reviews for public radio. He has a new book called “Live from New York, An Oral History of Saturday Night Live.” He spent some time talking about the book and discussing a few stories from the old days of SNL. Tom also talked with TnT about his job as a TV critic. According to Tom, there are too many crime shows on TV now and of this season’s premiers and new shows, only about 5% are worth a crap. Tom was very cool with TnT and seemed to enjoy the interview. Keep in mind that you can get his new book everywhere and you can read his columns on the Washington Post web site.

Trisha returned later in the show with this morning’s e-news segment. There was some talk about stoned poodles and P. Diddy’s marathon run. The gang also read a story about an Alabama father that nearly shot his son in the head when his kid asked his dad to buy him a car moments after an Alabama loss. TnT thought the story might have been more fitting if it had featured a rabid Husker fan instead of a southern neck but then again, the season’s only 4 games old. The guys then read an Internet joke about a guy that masturbated 36 times in a 24-hour period. They spent some time comparing their own masturbatory notes and from his own admission, Jeremy is the runaway orgasm king having admitted to achieving a ‘gasm “at least 4 times in a day”.

Well, that does it for the Wednesday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for the Thursday show. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-

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THE "N" WORD = "NEBRASKA"


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