Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Dave

Monday 10-6-03

Todd and Tyler began their show this morning by discussing this weekend’s arrest of former Husker Chad Kelsay. From the report, Chad got drunk on Saturday and ended up at a downtown Lincoln Amigo’s restaurant, where he pulled up to a “salsa bar” and began to help himself. Later, after police had arrived, he sat down with other patrons of the restaurant and started eating off of their plates before he was finally cuffed and taken away. TnT wondered how the arrest might be handled by Gary Java, Kelsay’s co-host on an AM sports talk radio show, speculating later that they probably wouldn’t mention it, just like the first time Kelsay was arrested for being hammered and acting up. As you might imagine, the guys had a blast with this story throughout the morning, bringing it up during the news segment as well as when Travis arrived with the sports report.

The guys then spent a bit of time discussing their weekends. Tyler went to see the Bobcat show on Friday night at the Bone before heading over to the Fish Heads show at the Ice House. He seemed to have enjoyed himself. Also over the weekend, Tyler and his wife drove around gawking at house fires. Todd went to Phoenix to see Arizona State play some football. On his return, he ran into a legroom hog on the airplane. The guy wanted to use the spot under Todd’s wife’s seat to put his legs. Todd didn’t think that was necessary but he opted to move their bags to an empty seat next to them and let the legroom hog use the spot. As retaliation, though, Todd farted Mexican food at the guy all the way to Omaha.

BW came in with the news a bit later. During the news, former Husker Rob Zatechka joined the guys. TnT spent some time discussing the Kelsay arrest with Rob before moving on to a gripping little league football story from BW. Later, Rob uttered the phrase, “The vagina is a more harsh environment than the mouth is”, which ended up on Tyler’s computer and was replayed throughout the morning. Brian went and saw some North O. kids whoop up on some smaller Glenwood kids in a football game, referring to the North O. kids as, “black buzz saws”. From there, the gang moved on to talk more about West Omaha control burns, cop car thieves over the weekend, the Life Chain anti-abortion freaks that lined Dodge and Center, and how the city has no money to build speed bumps.

As the news moved on, there was a bit of talk about tattoo law suits and the various fonts one can select from to avoid getting lettering that looks like it spells the wrong name. BW then reported on a lady that died when she fell from an opening drawbridge in Florida. TnT also discussed how Roy of Siegfried and Roy was attacked by one of his tigers and has only been given a 50-50 chance to live. And speaking of tigers, there was another report out of Harlem, NY about a tiger being rescued that was being kept in a pee-soaked studio apartment along with an alligator. The guys then moved on to a little “snowballing” talk, determining that BW’s new nickname should be Snowball Huston. Old Snowball then delivered today’s heartwarming “kicker story” about a gigantic, fat woman that was too big for her coffin and had to be buried with it cracked open.

Travis joined the guys a bit later for this morning’s sports report. He hadn’t yet heard about the Chad Kelsay arrest so TnT had him read the article in the paper before they spent some more time discussing the story. Later, Travis delivered this morning’s sporting news, which included talk about Trav’s Lock of the Week not coming in. Attaboy is now at 3-3. Also during Trav’s time on the show, TnT spoke to Big 12 ref and former Husker Clete Blakeman regarding this weekend’s referee rundown during one of the games Clete was reffing for.

TnT were joined in studio today by just one potential calendar hottie, Alexis. She couldn’t make it in during last week’s parade of hotness so the guys let her come up today. Alexis told TnT about how she was photographed by Frank Remar and that photo ended up in Maxim magazine’s “Hometown Hotties” section. She went on to discuss working at the Ice House, where the guys have most likely seen her in the past, and elaborated a bit on TnT’s theory about Mr. Remar’s incredible ability to get hotties to unclothe in front of him.

BW returned later with today’s e-news segment. The guys discussed the weekend overdose of Courtney Love, Jack Black’s new movie being #1 at the box office, and there was a lengthy “vagina films” discussion as BW explained his struggles to avoid seeing “Under The Tuscan Sun” last night. The gang moved on to talk a bit about Gay Day at Disneyland, how Britney is allegedly banging one of her married dancers, and then TnT phoned BW’s mom to find out what Brian wanted to be when he grew up. Much to their surprise, she reported that Brian wanted to be “a fat, alcoholic garbage collector”. Neither Brian nor his mother could come up with any reasonable explanation for why Brian, at age 5, decided that’s what he wanted to be or where he might have gleaned the term “alcoholic” from at such a young age. Brian then wrapped up the e-news with a terrible story about labia mutilation of children for which he was viciously scolded for by Todd and Tyler.

The guys are going to be out at Brewsky’s tonight for another edition of their Monday Night Football party. Potential calendar hottie Michelle will be speed dating this evening and all of the standard MNF party events will be taking place, including a TV giveaway, finger flicking football, and possibly a car giveaway if the 2^nd half kick-off is returned for a TD. Join the guys for all of the fun tonight at 7pm at the Omaha Brewsky’s on 156^th and Q Street.

That does it for the Monday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for the Tuesday show. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-

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