Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Dave

The Guy Bangin' Craig's Mom List

(aka Craig's Mom's Lover, CML)

I'm going to start a new thread, and leave the original thread to the archives. Here's a complete list we've come up with so far for CML's lines. Add more, and I'll update this list. Eventually, this list may be its own piece, like the biographies, just because of its size.

"Craig, can you tell me your mom's cell phone number, I forgot it. (Or something along those lines). "
"Nevermind Craig, I don't need her number anymore. She's got a hold of me RIGHT NOW."

"Hey, good morning. Hey Craig...your mom's back...is all I can see right now"

"I got up early this morning and then Craig's mom got up on it."

"Hey Good Morning...it's been three hours since I've had sex with Craig's mom." (In reference to great streaks)
(later)
"Hey, Good morning. I just broke the streak".

"Hey good morning. TNT:Hey you sound a little tired. CML: Yeah, I got in Craig's mom late."

"Hi, I'm eating right now, and I'm with Craig's mom".

"Hey good morning, Hey Craig did you know that your mom likes Texas poker?"
"Yeah, I pretend like I'm a texan and poke her."

"Hey I can hear you guys just fine...I'm inside Craigs mom" (one of the first BS590 days)

"Hey good morning. I know that monkeys are dangerous because Craig's mom was playing with my monkey and it spit in her face." (monkeys ate my face story)

"Hey good morning, Hey let Bob know that I have some tips for him on how to take care of a mom." (wedding show)

"Hey Good Morning, Hey Craig do you know what I make?"
"What?"
"I make it hard for your mom."

"Good Morning, I hear Craigs going to stop smoking?"
"Yeah"
"But I'll still be SMOKING with Craigs mom"

"Hey good morning. Hey Craigs mom said she was going to...(static starts to play)" (antennae problem day)

"Hey Good Morning. Since Craig's leaving...can I keep his mom?" (Craig leaving rumor)

"Hey Good morning. Craig's mom can't make it to the going-away party, so I get to come."

"Hey good morning. Hey I think Craig's mom has a deal going with the same dealership as you guys."
"Really?"
"Yeah because every time I pinch her she screams Tincher!"

"Hey good morning. I want to have sex with Eyore's mom." (the day Jess said Craig sounded like Eyore)

"Hey good Morning, I was with a woman last night who reminded me of Craig, She had (whisper) "Sexy feet". (sexy feet pervert story)

"Hey good morning. Did you guys see mount st. helens eruption last night? Yeah I saw some of it...hold on....Oh never mind, Craig's mom said that was me."

"Hey good morning. Hey I'm not positive but I think Craig's mom went to the prom." (story about stripper going to prom)

"Hey good morning. I had some excitement over the holiday."
"Oh yeah, what was that?"
"Craig's mom had a close shave"

"Dr. Ed, I have a friend... that's seeing and older woman... that has an insatiable sexual appetite."

"Did you know Crag's mom is a car buff? She's likes riding my hot rod."

"Hey good morning...this just in...me...me."

"Hey good morning. It's hard being around Craig's mom...and it's even harder being in her."

"Hey good morning. Hey I want you guys to know that I won't always be with Craig's mom....I have to leave in about 30 minutes."

"Hey good morning. Nobody got hurt this morning but I did nail Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig takes after his mom, she likes to pause during sex."

"Hey good morning, Hey I'm a little confused, whenever I point to my crotch in the car, Craig's mom doesn't call that road rage."

"Hey good morning, Hey is Cleet Blakemen an injury consultent?"
"As a matter of fact he is"
"Craig's mom may need him after the pounding she took last night."

"Hey good morning. I'm seeing a woman who has a older son, who I tell about our sexual experiences and I think he just laughs about it and looks forward to my next visit. That's hot, really really hot."

"Good Morning..sorry I haven't called in this week but I've been sleeping in.....Craig's mom"

"Donde es la casa de Craig's mom?"

"I just planted myself in Craig's mom's acreage."

"Hey good morning. I've got a Memorial day story, I had my "Anchor Inn" Craig's mom."

"Can you guys place a bet for me in Vegas?"
"Sure..."
"I'll put 10 down that I'll be over and under Craig's mom"

"Hey good morning, Hey Craig, your mom always gives me fresh milk"

"Hey good morning, I hear you guys like to watch T.V."
"Yeah"
"Well guess what's on tonight?"
"What?"
"Me on Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning, It's been awhile but I have to come up for some air"

"Hey good morning. Hey did Craig share with you what we have in common?"
"No, what?"
"In a few minutes we'll both be getting off."

"Hey good morning.Craig's right, His mom's good."

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig, your mom is tasteless but still funny."

"Craig's mom and I were in the Ralston parade. She was dressed as a float and I rode her."

"Your mom sent me out for ice cream, no cream. " - (Craig at Runza pimping ice cream)

"I'm not going to do your mom anymore or anyless."

"Hey good morning. Hey I'm not going to call anymore about Craig's mom because Jeremy's wife doesn't want me to."

"Do you know what I enjoy doing most of the Summer? Your mom."

"Hey Craig, It's 8:12. Do you know where your mom is? Hold on, I'll go get her."

"Hey good morning. Do you still have the Deliverence theme? "
"Yeah..." (starts playing)
"Craig's mom is already in the position, we just needed the music."

"Hey good morning. I'll bet on Craig in the hot dog eating contest. Especially if he takes after his mom."

"Good Morning, Growing meat is an old concept. I planted some meat last night!"

"Hey good morning. On the 4th I didn't light a punk, I didn't light a fire cracker, but I sure lit up Craig's mom"

"I agree with Matt, I miss Tony, but I never miss Craig's mom. "

"Hey Craig it's almost the 4th and the place to get the biggest bang for your buck is in Springfield."

"I give Craigs mom hazzard pay, the rockets she rides explodes all the time! "

"Hey Craig? I think your mom is great with money. "
"How so?"
"Because today she did a rollover. "

"Life should be easy, but it's hard with Craig's mom!"

"I don't mean to oversimplify things Craig, but I'm with your mom right now! "

"Good morning Dr. Ed. I get this stiffening, throbbing in my groin when I'm around Craig's mom. Should I be concerned?"

"Hey good morning. I hope I didn't miss anything, I just woke up from a nap with Craig's mom."

"Craig takes after his mom, she likes to hold a lot in too!"

"Hey Craig, the next time you see your mom, ask her for my blue shirt. I forgot it when I was down there"

"Hey Craig, guess what I was doing during the Supreme Court Justice announcement last night? I popped some popcorn, watched a movie, and went to bed with your mom!"

"Hey Craig I forgot to tell you that your mom has a new rug in her bedroom, it says Come Again. "

"I have an open relationship with Craig's mom. She opens up for me everyday. "

"I have done an all you can eat dating service called 'it's just craigs mom'" - Regarding "Its Just Lunch" dating service

"Yesterday i gave craigs mom her favorite candy.......a slow poke."

"You hear that rain last night? You hear that thunder last night? You hear the cries of passion from Craig's mom last night? Oh, wait, that was me!"

"All I know is Craig's Mom likes coming in Omaha." -Regarding western NE people hating Omaha

"Hey Craig, your mom just saw the rocket launch without the TV on" - Shuttle launch

"Just so I can keep all my perks, I want to thank Craigs mom! "

"Craig? Did you know your mom took debate? Because this morning she said a mouth full! "

"I need to know that Craig won't rat me out to his dad..."

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig? What do going to the gas station and your mom have in common? I always filler up."

"Craigs mom said a cute thing today. What happens in bed makes me want to stay in bed! "

"I got to meet Craig's mom yesterday. Twice!" - Meet/Meat

"I shoot on Craig's mom, and that is out loud!"

"Craig's mom must think I have a gun, because when I come into the room she spreads!"

"This might be outta character for me, but do you guys have lesters moms number?"

"Hey I made Craig's mom here - Reference to things made "here in Nebraska"

"I got a lot of things to do today. Two of them Are Craig's mom! "

"I attended a sex addiction meeting and Craig's mom took me home. "

"Hey do you guys have a garden?"
"A little one "
"Craigs mom likes mine, I grow a big cucumber.....and my garden aint bad either"

"I went golfing with Craig's mom yesterday. I told her if I get it up near the hole it's going in! "

"Hey good morning. I can't see Craig's moms face."
"Why not?"
"*Hangs up*"

"Craig, I almost forgot, I want to thank your mom. When I left this morning she had my t-shirt ironed! "

"Hey Craig, your mom got me pretty aroused this morning, do you know what kind of flowers she put around it? Tulips!"

"Good morning...hey Craig, tell your sister if she wants her mom's name, I'll get it from her when she wakes up."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig's mom put me in her will. So I put me in her."

"Hey good morning. With Craig's mom in town, I'll be taking some additional vacation time."

"Hey, Craig?"
"Yeah?"
"I just wanted to tell you.......Good Morning"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig? In honor of your birthday, your mom and I are wearing our birthday suits right now." - Craig's birthday 8/23

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig? I need you to do me favor. I need you to cover for me with your dad because your mom and I got in late last night."

"Hey good morning. If I quit calling now, I could theoretically go out on top with Craig's mom"

"Hey Good Morning. Hey, Craig's mom opens up for me all the time" - Discussion about the Stones having various opening acts

"Hey Prodigy, I have a project for a sure thing. I call it Craig's Mom!"

"Can I ask the Lawyer a question? Is it true that no one is above the law, but I'm above Craig's Mom right now?"

"Hey, good morning...it's not French Toast but Craig's mom has a stick right now."

"Hey good morning. Craig is a boner killer but Craig's mom is a boner maker." - New Great Band Name "Boner Maker"

"Hey good morning. It's gonna be a bad allergy season. Craig's mom hasn't left the bed but she has a sore throat."

"Hey good morning. If Craig's mom can be in the calender, I've got the pictures."

"Me and craig have something in common. Craig irons his shirts and I press his mom everyday"

"Hey good morning. I don't care about the NE Maine game and Craig's mom doesn't care about it but we're gonna have our own blowout that day."

"Hey good morning. Hey, tell Craig that I don't need the wake up call. His mom already got me up."

"You we're talkin' about zero money? I gave Craig's mom a hundered bucks last night."

"Hey good morning. Hey, I know you guys are tired of hurricane stories but last night Craig's mom was a category 5."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Doc? Craig's mom wanted me to ask, Is there an age limit on the Dominguez?" (referring to a fictional procedure in which a person's gag reflex is removed)

"Hey good morning. I like it when Craig's mom (presses a button on the phone) me in the morning."

"Hey Craig! Let your mom know that I left the key to her trailer under the middle wheel on the north side!"

"Hey good morning. Hey, J. Since Craig's mom doesn't drink, you can party with us tonight."

"Good morning. Hey, Tyler? I can tell you what Craig's moms under. (Tyler couldn't find the big voice guy clip for CML after he called the last time and when Tyler can't find a certain clip, he often says "what's it under?")

"Hey, I'd like to ask the Round Table the same question I asked Craig's Mom.... Can I squeeze in?

"Hey good morning. Hey, when I got dumped by the grass mowers mom, I got right on Craig's mom.

"Hey good morning. Do you know what the Packers and you mom had in common last night? They choked.

"Knock knock". "Whos there?" "People". "People who? "People who listen know I do Craig's Mom!"

(away from the phone) "Why don't you go down stairs and have a cup of coffee and I'll be with you in ten minutes..." Hey Craig? Guess who I'm with right now!?

"Hey good morning. Craig's mom thinks that I'm a bad pilot because she always reaches over for the stick"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig? Your mom wants to know if she can get the power stroke from Wydick."

"Hey Craig? Your Mom loves Texas Hold-em cause I'm all in!"

"Hey Craig, ask me what your Mom and I did last night... Craig: What did you and Mom do last night? CML: I'm not gonna answer that! That wouldn't be appropiate!"

"I don't use an alarm clock anymore, Craig's Mom gets me up!"

"I saw a bulge when I was exploring Craig's Mom's peak!"

"Craig, can you do a story on how bad the traffic is in Omaha? Do you know where I was stuck for thirty minutes!?"

"Hey good morning. I'd like to welcome both of you to Omaha. I already know Craig through his mom."

"Hey Craig! When your Mom wants kinky she allways knows I'll come back in the end!"

"Good morning. Craig's mom gave me a bobblehead last night!"

"Good morning. The middle finger doesn't bother your mom, Craig....or the fingers on either side of it."

"Craig's mom won't let me have a knife, but she doesn't mind a fork!"

"Hey good morning. Here's a story for ya. Once apon a time, Craig's moms pants fell down and I went in."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig's mom can pack a sex toy in with Craig's lunch if you guys want one."

"I finnaly got to do something I have never done before, Craig's mom on the kitchen floor!"

"It's Craig's Mom... I don't know if it's perfume, but you should smell my finger!"

"Hey good morning. Craig thought he had time to eat? I know I have time to eat!"

"Hey, with regards to Ramadan, you can do it. I get mine before sunrise and load up!"

"Hey Craig here is a paradox - I just finished eating and your mom is going downstairs to make breakfast."

"Hey Craig, can I call you back, I'm in the middle of your Mom!"

"Hey Craig! I'm thinking of becoming a comedian. My stand up will be your Mom laying down!"

"Hey good morning. It happened to me once. I called Craig's mom, Brian's mom." (Calling wrong person's name during sex)

"Hey good morning. Hey, When I first met Craig's mom, I thought she was pulling a scam. She asked for money and I got screwed."

"Hey good morning. I got carpal tunnel in three of my fingers from Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. Craig's mom likes it when I butt in!"

"Hey good morning. I don't know if this counts but I was in a truck when I picked up Craig's mom."

"Hey, Craig. I've some pictures of your mom. Is it too late to put them in the calander?"

"Hey good morning. I'm not saying sex with older women is a bad thing but I am saying that I have sex with Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig, your mom likes to play sneak up. Especially the part where I come from behind."

"Hey good morning. I dreamt I had four nipples and two belly buttons but then I realized that I was on top of Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Doctor Ed? If Craig's mom chokes my chicken, am I immune from the bird flu?"

"Hey good morning. I've got some information about that riot in Spingfield. I guess a neighbor called 911 when they saw me....uh...a man, jump from Craig's mom's bedroom window."

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig. Has your mom ever played basketball?
"No..."
"She should, she has great ball control."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Your mom has something in common with the Huskers. They both got their asses waxed Saturday."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Your mom got a pet snake. It's called a white spitting head."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I don't mean to get on your mom all the time but she asks me to."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Todd. If you want to experience an earthquake tonight, I'll let you stand outside of Craig's mom's bedroom door."

"Hey good morning. I went to Ralston Costume and decided to get a blanket costume for the Freakers Ball. I'll be the one wrapped around Craig's mom."

"I'm not gonna call about doin' your mom anymore because it takes the focus off of Todd and Tyler." - CML calling Craig's phone

"I'm gonna quit my job because it takes tension away from you." - CML calling Todd's phone

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig's mom is worried that I might get carpal tunnel in my penis."

"Hey good morning. Craig's mom has a pod that I pack everynight."

"Hey good morning. I got that Todd & Tyler 92 cent COX special. So Craig's mom can come over and enjoyed it with me."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Doctor Ed? I've got several brusies around my groin. Could that be from riding Craig's mom to hard?"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I think your mom's upset with me."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I got in late and pulled out early."

"Hey good morning. With regards to kissing. Craig's mom is tonguing me right now and yet I'm talking."

"Hey good morning. Hey, it's hard to believe that Craig is so quiet since his mom is a screamer."

"Hey good morning. Hey, I respect Craig's mom because she doesn't bring religion into our love life."

"Hey, what's the best house to make love to a Z-92 news man's mom?"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Tyler? Don't tell anyone but I'm gonna be with Craig's mom later."

"Hey good morning. I don't mean to change the topic but the Qwest Center has been having some great music lately and do you know what I did last night Craig? Your mom!"

"Hey good morning. Hey, did I ever tell you guys what Craig's mom said to me the first time we met? I see why they call it doggie."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Your moms pretty religious."
"Oh yeah?"
"She always has to be in the missionary position."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. We have something on common."
"Oh yeah?"
"You were good with your teacher and I'm good with your mom."

"Hey good morning. You know winter is my favorite season. The snow sticks to the ground and I stick to Craig's mom"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I'll be helping your mom with the Thanksgiving turkey this year. She'll spread the legs and I'll do the stuffing."

"Hey good morning.Hi, Craig. Remember me? I learned something from your news report. When I'm with your mom, I take long pauses between strokes."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Do you remember me calling you yesterday about your mom?"
"Nope" - (The boys thought Craig duplicated the news story from the previous day, and Craig kept replying with "I don't remember")

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig's mom is really excited this year about Thanksgiving. Yeah, She's in the other room right now prepairing the pie."

"Hey good morning. Hey, I could see why you guys thought I was talking about something else when I mentioned pie and Craig's mom. Well you were right. I'm getting a piece now."

"Hey, hello. One of Craig's stories reminded me of the weekend. I ran into a wet spot with his mom." (CML said 'hello' because of 'good morning' because it was national say 'hello' day or something)

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Is there a guy code when it comes to moms?"

"Hey good morning. Hey, I have to admit that I waited this morning for Craig's mom to open up." - Geeks waiting in line to get an XBOX 360

"Hey good morning. I'm gonna have Craig's mom for Thanksgiving."

"Hey good morning. Craig said something I like doing too. I like getting in his mom's craw."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Greenbay comes up when I'm with your mom. I pack her."

"Hey good morning. That knuckle counting method does work. Tomorrow I'll be showing Craig's mom that it's December." - Using your knuckles to figure out if a month has 31 days or not

"Hey good morning. Hey, Tyler. If you need the clip for Craig's mom, I can help you stick it back in."

"Hey good morning. Hey, when I was younger, Craig's mom played with me and now that I'm older, I play with her."

"Hey good morning. Hey, I never showed Craig's mom how to bite a hot dog but she sure knows how."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Do you know how much snow we got? We got 2 inches overnight and your mom got 6 inches this morning."

"Hey good morning. There's only 2 people I like to see bent over and getting it from behind and one of them is Husker fans."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. There's only one thing I'm against during the holidays."
"What's that?"
"Your mom."

"Hey good morning. Craig's mom and I took religion out of the holidays and made them sexual so we can celebrate them both."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I'll talk so you can eat if you return the favor for me."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Don't feel bad about feeling cheap. I gave your mom a little extra for what she did."

"Hey good morning. Craig's mom showed me the torture groups logo."

"The most important commandment is, thou shalt not be caught with Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. I helped Craig's mom decorate the tree. Her favorite ornament was the pole that pointed north."

"Hey good morning."
"Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year. Hey, Matt. Were you talking about some animals that your partner had?
"Yeah"
"I had a duck named wawd because it waddled funny when it walked. Over the holidays, Craig's mom was with me when I shot my wawd."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Tony. My resolution for the New Year, I'm not gonna be as hard on Craig's mom because she wants me to be hard in her."

"Hey good morning. When me and Craig's mom meet, we usually come at the same time."

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig. Here's something I touched on earlier. Your mom."

"Hey good morning. I did some remodeling over the weekend too. I mounted Craig's mom in the Kitchen."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I'm excited to see your mom's..back..."

"Hey good morning. This might be a coincidence but I'm seeing a woman who has a son who is called "more fingers"."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I'll never show what me and your mom do but I'll call and tell you."

"Hey good morning. I'll make you guys a promise. You get the Mayor up there and then Craig's mom will get me up here."

"Hey good morning. No one wants to have sex with Craig but there's a line behind me for his mom."

"Hey good morning. I know Craig's mom but I don't know his dad."

"Hey good morning. Don't worry about yesterday, Craig. I filled your mom in." (Craig left a little early this day)

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I made breakfast for your mom. We had scrambled legs in bed."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Your mom helped raise me this morning."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Mr Prodigy. I have a sure thing. When I go over, Craig's mom goes under."

"Hey good morning. I find that hitting on married women is very productive. How 'bout it, Craig?"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig's mom doesn't have a t.v. in her room but she does have lots of mirrors." (TV's in the room mean less sex)

"Hey good morning. Your right about break ups in Janurary. I left Craig's mom this morning with a big smile on her face." (more couples break up in January)

"Hey good morning. I point to the sky when I'm with Craig's mom but it's not my finger."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Tyler. Can I ask you a question? Your wife won't be attending the sex toy party but can I get the address for Craig's mom?"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I'm in your mom's house." (mimicing the movie "When a Stranger Calls"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig's mom is considering bringing a younger woman into our relationship. Hey, Austin (Anderson)."

"Hey, good morning. Hey Craig, does your mom think I'm funny?" (Craig's news story about women being more attracted to funny guys)

"Hey Craig your mom is up for best actess in a non speaking sexual scene"

"(In the background) Go ahead and get dressed. I'm gonna talk to Craig. Hey, Craig. It's been another "Good Morning"."

"I watched the channel 3 news last night but most the action was in Craig's moms room"

"Hey good morning. Do you know what Craig's dad's wife and the girl I'm bangin' have in common? They're both Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Tony. I've seen you sack groceries. Do you wanna see me sack Craig's mom?"

"Hey good morning. I have to agree. My wife gets upset with me whenever I mention Craig's mom around the house."

"Hey good morning. I think I messed the week up already. I made today(Monday)hump day with Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Don't worry about me and the rest of the week. Your mom said she would help straighten me out."

"Hey good morning. Hey did you get that contract from Michelle Bandura or Craig's mom?"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. We have something in common. You recently got out of a ticket and I just got out of your mom."

"Hey good morning. I've been booking all my bets through Craig's mom. Yeah, she's got the widest spread"

"Hey good morning. I just wanted to say that I think today's show is great, and that I wish Craig's mom was black."

"Hey good morning. Ya know, Craig's mom didn't accept me at first. I had to inch my way in."

"Hey good morning. I've heard Kevin (Brennan) talking about his parents, but don't worry, Craig. I'll still be stickin' it to your mom."

"Hey good morning. Hey, with regards to cheating, I've got some pictures of Craig's mom."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. Here's a choice. Do you wanna talk about Brenda or me having sex with your mom?"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. I'm gonna give your mom some love and she's gonna give me a place to put it."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. When I see your mom, it's not for long. It's usually just in and out."

"Good Morning. Hey Dr. Ed, I know you don't take questions, but I just wanted to let you know that I am having healthy, protected sex with an older woman. Craig has the details."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. I'm gonna take your advice and go home and start screwin'.....you mom."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, did Craig already do that cover up story? When I leave his mom's house, she puts her clothes on to cover up."

"Hey, good morning. There's a nice Powerball winner. I Powerballed Craig's mom last night for 2.2 minutes."

"Hey, good morning. I gave Craig's mom a temporary implant"

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Travis. My break getting into radio was getting into Craig's mom."

"Hey, good morning. Craig's mom and I got asses on our foreheads this morning(Ash Wednesday)."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, for lent I'm gonna give up having sex with Craig's mom in her house."

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig, your mom got freezer burn last night. I put ice cream on her pie."

"Hey, good morning. I'm picking Craig's mom's house and the explosion will be in the bedroom."

"Hey, Matt. Here's a riddle -- It's in the bathroom, and I do it to Craig's mom...I 'plunger'."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, did you see who got the oscar for the steamiest love scene by a religious woman with a man from Omaha?"

"Hey good morning. I've got the Craig's mom look. I'm wearing her on me right now."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. Your mom like pants."
"Pants?"
"Yeah, your mom, like, pants."

"Hey, good morning. I'm laying in bed naked next to Craig's mom and I can't think of anything cute to say."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. Your mom turns me on when she says it's time to come inside and play."

"Hey, good morning. I had a brush with a bare ass, but I don't think she's a bandit, is she, Craig?"

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. I want you to know that I treat your mom gently, like an egg. This morning I flipped her over easy."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. I had sex with your mom and her chabada (sp?)"

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. True story. I called you last Friday to apologize for mentioning you mom that morning, but you were taking a nap. So I ended up talking to your mom. I'm more in love than ever."

"Hey, good morning. When I Googled Craig's mom this morning, I popped up."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, I went to a rodeo in Springfield. Craig's mom bucked me three times."

"With regards to the Omaha Press Club...Craig's mom and I are coming."

"Hey good morning. Hey, I'm a little upset today. Craig's mom charged me for an extra hour this past weekend." (He was referring to the time switching...)

"Hey, good morning. The current alert level at Craig's mom's house has me at elevated."

"Hey, good morning. I went out last night. Dinner was on me, the drinks were on me, and Craig's mom was on me."

"Hey, good morning. I know Craig's mom likes to pray. When I'm with her, she's on her knees."

"Hey, good morning. I agree with you guys. I'm not into Myspace either. But I am into Craig's mom's space."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. You iron T-shirts. How do you get stains out of sheets?"

"Hey, good morning. With regards to the Press Club, You guys will have something in common with Craig's mom. Her face has been on the floor too."

"Hey, good morning. Craig's mom and I have a system. When it rings twice, it's time to go....Oh, I gotta go." (bell ringing in the backgroun)

"Hey good morning. Hey, Shawn (Gnant), We have somethinig in common. Your getting out of Columbus, and I'm getting out of Craig's mom."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Matt (Higgins) do you know what time Craig's mom likes to have sex? Eight in the morning."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, all the talk about Katie and Merideth reminds me that Craig's mom is a good fit."

"Hey, good morning. Yeah, I didn't even vote and I got a little bobblehead from Craig's mom."

"Hey, good morning. Craig doesn't take after his mom because she's very responsive."

"Good Morning. Hey Craig, you know how I got the job of calling in about your mom? She had an opening to fill."

"Good Morning, I thought Craig's mom came last night." (Craig's mom coming into town)

"Good Morning. If you'd change the show, I'd remember I did Craig's mom two hours ago." (talk about changing the show)

"Hey, good morning. If it weren't for Craig's mom, I wouldn't be off right now."

"Hey, good morning. This Easter I'll be in Craig's mom's hunt."

"Hey, good morning. I just plugged Craig's mom." (reference to plugging the show)

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. Mind if I double up on your mom, Thursday?"

"Hey, good morning. To help work off the Easter meal yesterday, I took Craig's mom for a ride"

"Hey, good morning. I'm not saying Craig's mom still strips, but I stubbed my toe on her pole in the bedroom."

Good morning! Hey, I saw the sky this morning after Craig's mother pulled the covers down!

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. If your lookin' for a good penis story, I think your mom has one."

"Hey good morning! I recieved two gag orders in the mail. One was from Z92 to keep quiet on this Friday and Monday. The other was from me to Craig's mom!

"Hey good morning, Im gonna squeeze one more in on Graigs mom before friday"

"Hey, good morning! So let me get this straight. Craig wants me to do his mom on Friday?

"Hey, good morning! Speaking of movies, my favorite movie is the same as Craigs Moms favorite posistion. Sideways!

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig, it's alright to screw with your mom today right?"

"Hey, good morning. Hey, I'm new to the area and I was wondering where Frank's Pizza is? I'll listen off the air for the answer" (craig's parents in town)

"Good Morning, I have a similar story to Trav...I jumped from a car and ran but Graigs Dad didnt catch me"

"Hey, good morning. That 48 hour blackout reminded me of this clip from "Apollo 13" ... "Houston, I wanna do Craig's mom!"

"Good morning, i'm still hammerin' Craigs mom"

"Hey, good morning. I'm gonna leave my money to Craig's mom, tonight." (buffet leaving money to people)

"Hey, good morning. I'm with Craig's mom and she wants to talk to you. (Moaning can be heard in the background)Honey...honey...Hey..Hey, Craig's mom....(The moaning continues)....Oh, I guess she's in the middle of something."

"Hey, good morning, (with sound of a woman moaning in the background for about 3 seconds) I guess she is still busy.

"Hey, good morning. I have a question I wanna ask. Hey, Candy? You know why I have such a good relationship with Craig's mom? I always come out on top."

"Hey, good morning. I'm not really banging Craig's mom. I'm an actor who's playing, I'm banging Craig's mom."

"Hey, good morning. Naked and in bed. Now thats good Craig's mom placement."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. Just to put your mind at ease, your mom is very open with me."

"Hey, good morning. Is there a Graig's mom I should be aware of?" (reference to a caller named Greg)

"Hey, good morning. Craig's mom knows due north, but she has to use my pointer."

"Hey, good morning. Just a correction. Me banging Craig's mom is never an accident."

"Hey, good morning. The official pie of the show me state is Craig's mom's pie."

"Hey, good morning. The most dangerous thing I did was leave before Craig's dad got home."

"Hey, good morning. Two things. I won a nice prize at a raffle and I gave it to Craig's mom."

"Hey, good morning. I'm tired of Heineman, I'm voting for Osborne. I don't like Osborne, I'm voting for Heineman...Hey, What about Craig's mom? Yeah, Craig's mom. Yeah, Craig's mom. Hey, if you vote for Craig's mom, you'll be on top."

"Hey, good morning. They're making a movie called Craig's mom and I'm gonna be in it."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Tom Osborne losing means that Craig's mom will still be coming in Nebraska."

"I've got a question for Craig, concerning the president's speech on imigration. What do Mexico and you're mom have in common? They both have me in them."

"Hey good morning, Hey Craig, if you want dating tips just ask me or your mom." (Mary Williams in the studio, and hot)

"Hey, I just got off with Craig's mom too."

"Hey, good morning. Is that Craig on the phone? What a coincidence. I just got off with his mom."

"Hey, good morning. There's an article about Todd and Tyler in Sexy Older Woman magazine."

"Good Morning! Hey Craig, Do you know what I do for a living? Your mom! "

"Good morning! Hey craig, Do you remember what I do for a living? I'm doing overtime!"

"Good morning! Hey Craig, My bannana splits your moms legs!"

"Hey, good morning. If Craig doesn't want to talk to his date, he can talk to my date...his mom."

"Good Morning! Hey, Craigs Mom made me dinner yesterday..... I got to taste her rump roast!"

"Hey, good morning. I watched Action 3 last night, but the only thing I saw revealed was Craig's mom."

"Hey, good morning. Did you know Craig's mom likes to sew? She does nice bed spreads."

"Hey, good morning. Hey, Craig. What do your mom and Ted Tuner have in common? They both have a nice spread."

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. What do your mom and the bird flu have in common? They both could be wide spread."

"Hey, good morning. Hey Craig, what does your mom and my wife have in common?....They can both kill me at anytime"

"Hey good morning. Hey, Craig. What do your mom and old fashioned raisin bread have in common? They both can be spread.

"Hey, good morning. Craig doesn't get excited when I do his mom, but she does."

"Hey, good morning! I took Craig's mom to a Nebraska game this weekend and they both blew it!"

"Hey good morning! Craig, could you ask your mom to see if she's seeing someone else? Cause she didn't come last night....."

"Reporting live on the scene! I just finished Craig's Mom! Back to you Craig...." (people cheering in background)

"Reporting live from the scene, I have some audio of Craigs mom...."(few seconds of moaning)

"Hey, good morning! Craig's Mom and I are both post cd. She keeps unzipping it and I keep putting it back in!"

"Hey good morning. Hey Craig, your mom is calling my boss today. She's going to get me off early."

"Hey good morning! I went down and had a taste of Springfield!" (Craig's Mom's Town)

"Hey, good morning. You know what a minister's wife just did......me!"

"Hey, good morning. I stick it to Craig's mom all the time, but she doesn't consider it a weapon."

"Hey, good morning! I'm going to take Craigs mom out to a formal dinner and I was wondering if I could borrow Matt's top hat and cane?"

"Hey, good morning. Craig's mom had a little problem of the weekend, yeah I poked her pie"

"Hey, good morning. Hey Craig, your mom is a risk taker in the category 'hey look at this'" (Craig story about risk takers)

"Hey Good Morning. Hey Doc, anytime im with Craigs mom, I have a throbbing sensation in my penis, Is this common?"

"Hey Good Morning, Hey Todd and Tyler since im going to be gone for the next few days can i play a best of....plays a 25 second clip of...
'I got up early this morning and then Craig's mom got up on it'. 'Your Mom loves Texas Hold-em cause I'm all in!' 'Craig's mom gave me a bobblehead last night!'
'I did some remodeling over the weekend too, I mounted Craig's mom in the Kitchen.' 'I don't mean to get on your mom all the time but she asks me to.' 'I'm gonna have Craig's mom for Thanksgiving.' 'I made breakfast for your mom, we had scrambled legs in bed.' 'Craig's mom didn't accept me at first. I had to inch my way in.'"

"Sounds of an (Craig's) answering machine. Message: Hey Craig, I heard your mom is going to be in town, and I am going to be in her."

"Hey, good morning. <click> (a teaser "psych" call from CML because Craig's mom was in town possibly listening)"

"Hey good morning! Sorry I haven't called, but I've been a little worn down with Craig's mom in town!"

"Hey good morning! The last couple of days with Craig's mom I got meat exaustion!"

"Hey good morning, I had a bit of a firework disaster yesterday, Craigs mom licked my wick(firework) and it exploded everywhere"

"Hey good morning, Craig? Your mom's like a steak, she's well done"

"Good morning!!! I just got back. Yeah, I was in Craig's mom!"

"Hey Good Morning. Im not in right now, im with Craigs mom, lease leave a message after the beep. (beep)soft moaning ensues "i thought you turned that off"

"Hey Good Morning, hey Craig i saw your name on the caller ID and Im sorry I didnt answer it. I was helping your mom make the bed"

"Craigs mom doesnt use her knuckles, and it isnt my shoulder" (Harold Reynold firing reference)"

"Good morning! Hey Craig. I found something else we have in common. You're on the web and I'm on your Mom!"

"Hey, good morning! Hey, just a correction. It's "the guy who bangs your newsmans mom!" Not 'apparently'! "

"Craigs mom took me home one night...and the rest is history"

"Hey Craig, I can become invisible...especially when your dad shows up"

"Hey Good Morning, I performed a small operation on Craigs mom. I removed my penis from her"

"Hey Good Morning, Hey Craig I did some work for your mom"
"That's good"
"Yes I oiled up her back door so now I can slip in and out easier"

"Hey Good Morning, I just wanted to apologize for being so hard on Craig's mom. Sorry Craig...oh and I am hard in her"

"Hey, good morning! I can honestly say I have nothing on Craig's mom right now!"

"Hey good morning! Hey, I told my eye doctor that I was having sex with Craig's Mom and he couldn't see a problem with it!"

"Good morning. Hey Craig? I had a star named after your Mom. It's called I.B.N.YourMom."

"Hey Craig? I'm gonna get off your Mom for awhile."

"Hey, Good morning! Hey Craig? Your mom told me something that I have in common with Tyler.... She said I have a big head too!"

"Hey Craig, were almost like brothers, your moms been raising me too."

"Hey Good Morning, I wrote a poem for Craigs mom about weather, may i read it." reads poem but couldnt catch all of it."

"Hey Good Morning. Putting a ringtone on your phone is easy, here is Graigs mom now....moan, ugh, moan........................hello"

"Good morning! I'm from Omaha! And when I fell out of Craig's Mom's vagina I was still in Omaha!"

"Hey Good Morning! All this talk about birds and dogs reminds me of how Graigs mom squeeled like a pig last night"

"Hey good morning. Do you know what your mom's favorite pastry is Craig? She likes me to give her a turnover in the morning!"

"Hey good morning. Craig's Mom has sweet buns and I get to glaze them!"

"Hey Good Morning. I stuck something in a socket at Graigs mom house and got satisfied"

"Hey Good Morning. I've pulled something over on Graigs mom. I pulled the covers up"

"Good morning. Hey Craig? Did you know I was nuts over your Mom!"

"Hey Good morning! This morning I made the conscious decision to let Craig's Mom sleep in."

"Good morning! First Cheney, then Dave Mathews, then the Penguin... Now here's what I sound like when I'm doing Craig's Mom... Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh!"

__________________

Todd and Tyler Streaming
Questions, comments, concerns?
Contact the Empire

msquared

wow

__________________
"I am in earnest; I will not equivocate; I will not excuse; I will not retreat a single inch; and I will be heard."
William Lloyd Garrison

ob1

Nice work as always, Dave. :)

CML is a busy guy! B)

__________________
"Hey, great..."

mike

Damn Dave,Haven't you been a busy little beaver! B) :laugh:

__________________

"The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

Thender

CML: Life should be easy, but it's hard with Craig's mom!

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

Thender

CML: I don't mean to oversimplify things Craig, but I'm with your mom right now!

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

Thender

CML: Good morning Dr. Ed. I get this stiffening, throbbing in my groin when I'm around Craig's mom. Should I be concerned?

Dr. Ed: No, but Craig should be.

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

MMM

Dave,
Nice work.

Thender - Nice work as well.

__________________

Thender

Thanks M'. But did CML make a call today?

Maybe Tony'l catch it if he did...

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

MMM

thender - I think Tony was going to the movies. hehe
I don't know. I missed some of the show today, but I will try to listen tonight.

Post edited by: mmm, at: 2005/07/14 22:50

__________________

Thender

Oh Well. If we missed him... We missed him. :unsure: B)

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

TNT_Tony

This is from the end of the show on Wednesday.

CML:'Hey good morning. I hope I didn't miss anything, I just woke up from a nap with Craig's mom.'

Post edited by: TNT_Tony, at: 2005/07/15 00:09

__________________
"He's gonna take you back to the past..... and play these shi**y games that suck ass."

Dave

Updated in the first post.

__________________

Todd and Tyler Streaming
Questions, comments, concerns?
Contact the Empire

Thender

CML: Craig takes after his mom, she likes to hold a lot in too!

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

TNT_Tony

CML:'Hey Craig, the next time you see your mom, ask her for my blue shirt. I forgot it when I was down there'

__________________
"He's gonna take you back to the past..... and play these shi**y games that suck ass."

Thender

CML: Hey Craig, guess what I was doing during the Supreme Court Justice announcement last night? I popped some popcorn, watched a movie, and went to bed with your mom!

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

MMM

CML: Hey Craig I forgot to tell you that your mom has a new rug in her bedroom, it says Come Again.

__________________

TNT_Tony