Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

2ox · 01-04-2006

Elizabeths Email To Brad

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.
I am so sorry.
Elizabeth

Brads Sympathetic Reply

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".
You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F*ck him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans. I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our asses off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,
Brad

**mike** · 01-04-2006

LMAO!!!!!! Now THAT is F***ed UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

MMM · 01-04-2006

That isn't funny that is just mean...

**mike** · 01-04-2006

she brought it on herself.

MMM · 01-04-2006

A girl messes around she is a slut a guy messes around he is a stud.. How fair is that??

**mike** · 01-04-2006

I don't see the problem....

MMM · 01-04-2006

Dave · 01-04-2006

Oooh... I'm keeping that letter, it might come in handy someday.

And... its the first "cum-guzzling" reference of 2006!

shutterbug · 01-04-2006

2ox · 01-04-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM

A girl messes around she is a slut a guy messes around he is a stud.. How fair is that??

Brad isnt the one who screwed up here. If the situation were reversed, Brad would be a cum-guzzling prick!

cut...print....gay!

teamriot38 · 01-04-2006

yeah if I did the same thign **except witha chick in the bathroom** I would be expecting an e-mail like this one, especially if I wanted forgiveness. It's all situational. It's hilarious unless it happens to you, then you act just like the example shown. End of story

TNT_Tony · 01-05-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM

Did'nt you tell me to stop doing that to Mike just over a week ago? And now your doing it?...............Meh.......

**mike** · 01-05-2006

I told you.She just plain mean!

TNT_Tony · 01-06-2006

Or is she?!......

Dave · 01-09-2006

Dave (no, not me Dave, another Dave) sent this to me from snopes.com

http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/email/breakup.asp

MMM · 01-10-2006

**ob1** · 01-10-2006

^Yep, big mention on the show this morning!

MMM · 01-11-2006

ok .. I have broken up with a guy with an email.. he lived in other town..

2ox · 01-11-2006

Im not touching that one.

ColumbusChick · 01-12-2006

The LEAST she should have done was brought him back a gift... say maybe a shirt that reads..

"I Blew Some Guy In The Bathroom And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"

..perhaps? Thoughtless bitch.

TNT_Tony · 01-12-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by ColumbusChick

The LEAST she should have done was brought him back a gift... say maybe a shirt that reads..

"I Blew Some Guy In The Bathroom And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"

..perhaps? Thoughtless bitch.

Whoa!

teamriot38 · 01-12-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by ColumbusChick

The LEAST she should have done was brought him back a gift... say maybe a shirt that reads..

"I Blew Some Guy In The Bathroom And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"

..perhaps? Thoughtless bitch.

I like you already!

shutterbug · 01-12-2006

yep nice to see another female here with an opinion

01-04-2006	#1
2ox it makes good good sense Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 45 Posts: 3,645 Throcks: 1,298.00 Thanks: 11 Thanked 611 Times in 128 Posts	Elizabeth And Brad Break Up Elizabeths Email To Brad Brad, It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it. I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that. I am so sorry. Elizabeth Brads Sympathetic Reply Dear Elizabeth, Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about". You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fck him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans. I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our asses off about the time it happened. By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know. PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email. Talk to you never, Brad __________________ "I took a look inside your bedroom door...You looked so good lying on your bed...Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love...You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead"*

01-04-2006	#2
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,222 Throcks: 6,969.67 Thanks: 16,056 Thanked 9,532 Times in 2,208 Posts	LMAO!!!!!! Now THAT is F***ed UP!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

01-04-2006	#3
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 36 Posts: 3,186 Throcks: 2,313.44 Thanks: 0 Thanked 202 Times in 47 Posts	That isn't funny that is just mean... __________________

01-04-2006	#4
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,222 Throcks: 6,969.67 Thanks: 16,056 Thanked 9,532 Times in 2,208 Posts	she brought it on herself. __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

01-04-2006	#5
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 36 Posts: 3,186 Throcks: 2,313.44 Thanks: 0 Thanked 202 Times in 47 Posts	A girl messes around she is a slut a guy messes around he is a stud.. How fair is that?? __________________

01-04-2006	#6
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,222 Throcks: 6,969.67 Thanks: 16,056 Thanked 9,532 Times in 2,208 Posts	I don't see the problem.... __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

01-04-2006	#7
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 36 Posts: 3,186 Throcks: 2,313.44 Thanks: 0 Thanked 202 Times in 47 Posts	__________________

01-04-2006	#8
Dave Wookin Pa Nub Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 6,841 Throcks: 8,275.85 Thanks: 933 Thanked 1,750 Times in 332 Posts	Oooh... I'm keeping that letter, it might come in handy someday. And... its the first "cum-guzzling" reference of 2006! __________________ Speedway! ~ Spin-out! ~ Crypto-Logic! YetAnotherGreatBandName.com Questions, comments, concerns?

01-04-2006	#9
shutterbug Off The Deep End Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Middle of Nowhere Age: 32 Posts: 1,174 Throcks: 383.67 Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 1 Post	__________________ I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

01-04-2006	#11
teamriot38 TnTU College Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 642 Throcks: 394.17 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	yeah if I did the same thign except witha chick in the bathroom I would be expecting an e-mail like this one, especially if I wanted forgiveness. It's all situational. It's hilarious unless it happens to you, then you act just like the example shown. End of story __________________ bye

01-05-2006	#13
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,222 Throcks: 6,969.67 Thanks: 16,056 Thanked 9,532 Times in 2,208 Posts	I told you.She just plain mean! __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

01-06-2006	#14
TNT_Tony Olivia Munn is F*ing HOT!! Listens: Z92 - 3rd Shift Replay** Join Date: May 2005 Location: Bellevue, NE Age: 25 Posts: 7,066 Throcks: 2,714.56 Thanks: 147 Thanked 3,613 Times in 700 Posts	Or is she?!...... __________________

01-09-2006	#15
Dave Wookin Pa Nub Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 6,841 Throcks: 8,275.85 Thanks: 933 Thanked 1,750 Times in 332 Posts	Dave (no, not me Dave, another Dave) sent this to me from snopes.com http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/email/breakup.asp __________________ Speedway! ~ Spin-out! ~ Crypto-Logic! YetAnotherGreatBandName.com Questions, comments, concerns?

01-10-2006	#16
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 36 Posts: 3,186 Throcks: 2,313.44 Thanks: 0 Thanked 202 Times in 47 Posts	__________________

01-10-2006	#17
ob1 Jedi SlaveBoy Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 7,191 Throcks: 2,704.64 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 3,070 Times in 605 Posts	^Yep, big mention on the show this morning! __________________ Ban the lizards!

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01-11-2006	#18
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 36 Posts: 3,186 Throcks: 2,313.44 Thanks: 0 Thanked 202 Times in 47 Posts	ok .. I have broken up with a guy with an email.. he lived in other town.. __________________ Last edited by MMM; 01-12-2006 at 07:04 AM.

01-11-2006	#19
2ox it makes good good sense Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 45 Posts: 3,645 Throcks: 1,298.00 Thanks: 11 Thanked 611 Times in 128 Posts	Im not touching that one. __________________ "I took a look inside your bedroom door...You looked so good lying on your bed...Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love...You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead"

01-12-2006	#20
ColumbusChick If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere! Not. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Columbus Posts: 42 Throcks: 361.29 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	The LEAST she should have done was brought him back a gift... say maybe a shirt that reads.. "I Blew Some Guy In The Bathroom And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" ..perhaps? Thoughtless bitch. __________________ ColumbusChick ...no, not the tongue girl, that's sooo 90's! (I mostly think about Craig when I touch myself, but even then I get rejected.)