Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Dave · 01-04-2008

During the recent "Best Of" shows, the boys had a bit from late October about "Christers" that follow the Bible's teachings explicitly.

They had a discussion about certain selective rules that were listed in the Bible right along side that offensive abomination above all, gay sex. Most Christers choose to obey the "no gay sex", but ignore all the others. They will also claim that these Old Testament verses are simply guidelines, and shouldn't be taken literally, except for the no butt sex part.

Some of these other abominations, mostly from Leviticus, are as follows:

Quote:

"For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him." (Leviticus 20:9)

Don't curse your mama or your daddy, you'll DIE!

Quote:

"If a man lies with a woman during her sickness and uncovers her nakedness, he has discovered her flow, and she has uncovered the flow of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from her people." (Leviticus 20:18)

Don't bone while she's draining, you'll both be thrown out of the house!

Quote:

"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property." (Leviticus 25:44-45)

There's got to be a "Slave Owning for Dummies" book somewhere.

Quote:

"Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." (Leviticus 19:27)

Nope, I looked, It doesn't mention pubes.

Quote:

"...and the swine, though it divides the hoof, having cloven hooves, yet does not chew the cud, is unclean to you." (Leviticus 11:7)

Are you supposed to keep bacon flavored tofu in the pantry?

Quote:

"...do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material." (Leviticus 19:19)

This goes without saying.

But the worst abomination in all the Old Testament is regarding shellfish (lobster, shrimp, etc.)

Quote:

"But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:10)

Quote:

"They (shellfish) shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination." (Leviticus 11:11)

Quote:

"Whatever in the water does not have fins or scales; that shall be an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:12)

More here:
Proof that fundamentalists selectively quote the Bible

**ob1** · 01-04-2008

...don't bone while she's draining...

Evolution is looking better and better every day isn't it?

Logan · 01-04-2008

somewhere in the bible it talks about noah's son uncovering his nakedness. basically when a preacher interpreted it, noah and his son got drunk and noah's son railed him.

**dracula** · 01-04-2008

Does this mean dropping a lobster in boiling water sends you to Hell?

01-04-2008	#2
ob1 Solid....Solid As Barack! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 7,171 Throcks: 2,607.79 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 2,977 Times in 585 Posts	Re: Bible Abominations ...don't bone while she's draining... Evolution is looking better and better every day isn't it? __________________ Ban the lizards!

01-04-2008	#3
Logan Flaming out on phone calls since 2002 Join Date: May 2005 Location: where the f*cking skers play Age: 40 Posts: 781 Throcks: 375.78 Thanks: 0 Thanked 5 Times in 1 Post	Re: Bible Abominations somewhere in the bible it talks about noah's son uncovering his nakedness. basically when a preacher interpreted it, noah and his son got drunk and noah's son railed him.

01-04-2008	#4
dracula Your Mom hates you, she told me so.... Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 45 Posts: 5,206 Throcks: 0.09 Thanks: 9,705 Thanked 13,260 Times in 3,040 Posts	Re: Bible Abominations Does this mean dropping a lobster in boiling water sends you to Hell? __________________ Is it bad when you almost cause a car crash because you're using your keychain vibrator?.....teachergirl

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